You don't need to have conducted innumerable adulterous affairs to properly woo unhappy women in miserable marriages. It's courting happy ones in successful partnerships that takes real skill. All kidding aside though, sneaking around with a sexual mate who shares her bed with another man is serious business. You're not only risking the obvious repercussions of getting caught (be it broken bones or a damaged reputation), but assuming the collateral burden of someone looking for you to satisfy a complicated set of physical and emotional needs.
And that means being mindful of more than just the usual Hollywood tip sheet on how to jump out the nearest window or meet at mutually inconvenient locations. So with genuine compassion for all parties in mind, here are some no-brainer tips on how to pursue and enjoy a morally dubious act in the most upstanding way possible.
Let the Relationship Develop Naturally
Carrying on a relationship with a married woman isn't like visiting a backward brothel. You don't stand at a roll call with a bunch of other gamely young studs, as some fantasy MILF takes her pick from the flock and shepherds you away for an evening of complicit, tawdry intercourse.
Usually, the relationship develops organically like any other, in environments that have usurped her actual home as a hotbed for intimacy, like the office, gym or some kind of shared recreational destination. And given that there aren't any laws prohibiting flirtation, don't assume that just because you share some coy glances that she wants to take it to the next level.
Don't Befriend Her Husband
This may seem self-evident, but make sure her husband remains as clandestine a figure as possible. It will help you compartmentalize your role in the affair and keep the entire situation in the realm of fantasy. Or at least that's your excuse when the windfall of accusations and shattered lives comes hurtling toward you like an avalanche.
Manage Expectations
She's either looking to revitalize something absent in her system, like you're a human relationship vitamin, or using you as a vessel to travel back in time to make sure she didn't leave anything essential behind on her way to domestic reconciliation. You may be looking for a bump in self-esteem and possible bragging rights from the novelty of the arrangement. Whatever your individual motivations, it's best for all invested that your arrangement stay fairly spontaneous and extracurricular.
Treat Her Kindly
All that being said, when in each other's company, treat her the way you'd treat any woman and would hope to be treated in return. Dating another man's spouse is only recommended for individuals mature enough to handle the responsibility. As with any interpersonal relationship, your adulteress of choice wants to know that she's being respected and handled with sensitivity, and that kind of goodwill goes a long way when, as all affairs do, the relationship outlives its necessity.
And hey, who knows, maybe she'll even refer you to one of her friends and you can spend the rest of your adult existence avoiding meaningful connections by intermittently satisfying other people's misdirected longings.
Have you ever dated a married woman? What's your advice for navigating the situation?
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Thursday 05 November
By not an adulterer but...
that's not to say that i'm not interested. what about getting involved with a married man? i'd like that how-to tip sheet. would the tips be different? maybe not...
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Thursday 05 November
By hmmmm...
as a married woman i will definitely agree with the first two tips. although i think the first affair i had disregarded the managing of expectations. because now we are married and extremely happy!
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Thursday 05 November
By brandie schbart
totaly agree
Friday 06 November
By gingerB
me, too. worth every stolen moment for what's now a lifetime of happiness
Monday 09 November
By wait a second
Quick question, you said the FIRST affair you had disregarded b/c now you are happily married. That would indicate you have had a second affair which then begs the question are your truly happily married?
Monday 09 November
By hmmmm...
By "first affair" I meant the only one! I'm never doing that again but it took taking that chance/risk in the first place to realize it was worth it. I know I got lucky but I'm so glad everything worked out the way it did, although I do regret causing my first husband any harm. He has also moved on to his second marriage and I think we would both agree that things did end up working out for the best for both of us.
Monday 09 November
By Tariq
Its always good practice to have a picture of her husband and to have her delete all pictures of you from her email and phone or where ever (especially if you meet online) because its good to know what her husband looks like and not have him know what you look like. also when leaving meeting places its best to act as if you dont know each other and happen to be leaving at the same time or leave at different times if you can... I suggest motels that have multiple floor and tinted lobbies. I suggest you not interact until you are in the room... always be cautions.. I can go on further maybe I will right a article for the site.
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