Recently, we stumbled upon this article by AOL Personals writer Wayne Elise
, which declares his belief in no uncertain terms that when a woman you're interested in dating tells you maybe, she always, unequivocally means no. In his words, "People either like you or they don't. They are attracted enough or not. There is no MAYBE. Understanding and implementing this truth will save you time, anxiety and hurt expectations."
We don't want to sound like lovesick chumps here, but still we wondered, Really? Can maybe possibly
always mean no?
So we decided to head straight to the source by asking LFOA (lady friends of Asylum) to give us the scoop on what they mean when they drop a "maybe" on a man.
"Maybe" should be considered just like it sounds when it comes from a woman, because I don't think attraction is as instantaneous for us. A woman might not dig a guy at first, but her attraction can grow as she spends more time with him. So she might say maybe because she's not feeling him initially but thinks there is potential. Also, a maybe can be a way for a woman to make a guy work for her time/attention. A lot of women feel like they don't want to come off as too eager, so they'll act uninterested or unsure.
Psh. One maybe equals maybe. One maybe also equals playing hard to get. Two maybes equals no.
Keep reading for more reactions from the women folk.
I've said maybe before to men I did actually end up dating. At times it was because I was honestly not sure about how it might work out between us, or if it would be a good idea (especially if I wasn't sure how old he was or whether he was actually single). Given all the confusing messages women get about scaring off a guy by showing too much interest in him, is it any wonder that sometimes we choose to play it coy?
I think that any man who follows that guy's advice is going to sound like a creepy psychopath. Sometimes maybe means I'll think about it. And I can guarantee you that bullying somebody into a direct answer when they really did mean maybe is always going to result in a no.
Maybe doesn't always mean absolutely no. For me, it often means "work harder". If I want to be polite in saying no I would say "no thank you."
I'm usually pretty straightforward and will tell a guy thanks, but no thanks. But then again, I'm easier than the first level of "Tetris," so I rarely say no. The only time when I'd tell a guy maybe is if I was genuinely freaked out by him -- like, he's coming on too strong, or I can see the outline of a ball peen hammer in his back pocket.
The chicks we know seem to think maybes are usually valid. What's your experience with the m-word?