We really don't need an excuse to tune into the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
on December 1. The utterly pointless runway extravaganza
will feature every Gisele-Naomi-Adriana wannabe parading around in lingerie in a desperate attempt to save CBS from going out of business -- and we're more than happy to throw them a ratings point
But just to make sure we don't miss the show, the broadcaster had to go and drive us to horndog heights with this: the Victoria's Secret Model Search competition
. All 10 of these finalists want you ... to vote for them
. The winner gets to participate in Tuesday's showdown and will probably go on to be named The 2009 Reason You Keep Stealing Your Wife's Victoria's Secret Catalogs.
Each man's vote is his own private information, but we can't help but recommend these hot chicks because they've each promised to finally stop blocking our phone calls if we help them win.
She's a 19-year-old from California with ridiculously large natural boobers. She also enjoys dancing "like a crazy person when she's alone," according to the Victoria's Secret Web site
. Let's hope that means she enjoys dancing completely naked like a crazy stripper when we're
This 25-year-old hails from the mean streets of Detroit, has a black belt in karate and killed 500 men in the War of 1812. OK, except for the last part, all of Tika's biographical details are real and quite intimidating. We'll consider voting for her, just so that she doesn't practice her martial art on our faces.
Jamie Lee Darley
How ridiculous is it that a 23-year-old California girl, and WAG of Sacha Kljestan
, could be thinking about "retiring" from modeling if this whole getting-one-shot-at-being-the-biggest-star-in-the-world thing doesn't work out? Jamie, don't go away if you end up short of the top spot -- we need more tall, basketball-playing ex-construction workers to offset the rest of these pampered brats.
At 18, she's the youngest of the bunch but already way ahead of most women we know in terms of pure awesomeness. According to Victoria's Secret
, this high-school track star drove 12 straight hours to her final audition, is a ballerina, is hot and freely admits to stuffing her bra. You know that most of these models either do that or get boob jobs, so brownie points to her for coming right out and saying it without us having to ask.
Who's your favorite of these four? (You can see all 10 of the finalists here
.) While you're thinking about that, we'll leave you with one final thought: Local media
notes that all 10 girls are staying in a single condo somewhere in downtown Manhattan. Oh, if only someone could email us the address ...