They held a swim meet and Michael Phelps didn't win. In fact, the 14-time Olympic gold medalist wasn't even able to make the finals in three of the five individual events he entered during this week's World Cup in Stockholm.

A cursory glance at the merman suggests his new beard could be the culprit, as that sort of facial hair is an odd choice in a sport where competitors practically bathe in Nair to achieve the desired aerodynamic form.

Yet that would overlook the clear psychological advantage the beard gives an athlete. If it didn't, how do we explain hockey players who stop shaving during the Stanley Cup playoffs? Not to mention the Hall of Fame career of San Diego Charger legend Dan Fouts.

No, the presence of the beard alone doesn't account for Phelps's sudden demise in form. But following the significance of evil beards in comics and sci-fi history, isn't it possible the swimmer has been replaced by Bizarro Phelps, who has inferior swimming abilities but is infinitely more evil?

Tell us: Do you think Phelps' beard is draining his power?