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While the human male's primordial desire to have a lot of tools may be simple, it certainly isn't cheap.

Unless a handy fellow manages to so impress the hardware store checkout lady with his parade of manly purchases that she can't help but sell them to him to the tune of $20,000 in deep discounts that her manager would never approve.

Which is what Kathie Lee Smith, a clerk in a West Virginia Lowe's, did for a guy "she desired as a boyfriend." According to police, this crime of the heart took place over four months, finally coming to an end when security cameras caught the 20-year-old wringing up a $300 pressure washer for only $3.66.

Yesterday, Smith was arrested. The authorities aren't saying whether Smith's giveaways aided her romantic pursuit, and so far they haven't released any information about her crush. Perhaps to protect him from the deluge of acquaints with dirty decks who would also want to benefit from his ill-gotten bounty.

From the Web:
Business in the Front, Party in the Back -- A Mullet Collection. (BleacherReport)
Ode to Rockzo -- The greatest cartoon clown since Krusty. (Adult Swim)