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Barack Obama's critics are outraged after the president greeted Japan's Emperor Akihito with a deep bow that appears to have greatly exceeded the typical dip foreign dignitaries offer the monarch.

We don't want to wade too far into that faux-controversy -- maybe Obama just wanted to show off how limber he is -- but it did get us thinking about the bow as a greeting. When practiced informally (meaning two people mutually acknowledging each other by lowering the head and back about 15 degrees) the bow offers a superior sanitary option to the American ritual greeting of choice, the handshake, in which we commingle our hand germs with someone else's.

Still, there are advantages to the handshake, as well, so we've decided to compare the bow and the handshake. (We've also thrown in the man-on-man kiss, not so much because we think many people would prefer it, but because the picture is funny.)

Handshake: The original purpose of this greeting was to prove you come in peace and hold no weapon in your right hand. These days it's more about using the illusion of a firm physical connection and a solid look in the eye that conveys you're a man of your word .

Drawbacks: The aforementioned hygienic quandary, older men who try to prove their continued vitality by crushing your hand, and the inexact science of gauging how hard to squeeze when shaking hands with a woman.

The Bow: It's crisp, it's efficient, and it can be executed across a table without the risk of knocking drinks over. A bow also won't spread the swine flu, SARS or whatever the communicable disease du jour may be.

Drawbacks: If you get carried away and go all-out Obama bow on another dude, he might think you are offering him fellatio. Also, if you go for the bow, and your partner does not, you're basically leaving yourself open to a jaw-rattling uppercut.

The kiss: The man-to-man kiss is largely prevalent in parts of Southern Europe and the Arab world. You may remember from the time George W. Bush famously laid a couple smooches on King Abdul of Saudi Arabia. (Hmm, perhaps, that's the great benefit of the man-kiss ritual greeting -- it goes a along way toward convincing a member of Saudi Royal family that he should continue to share his oil with you.)

Drawbacks: Stubble burn. A lifetime of mockery.