There's just something about a girl who plays video games. More than any other hobby or pastime, the rare subset of attractive women who game just seems to titillate the male imagination with the prospect of sex outside of WoW. So we can understand why you might get a little tongue-tied in the presence of such a creature. Enter Kathryn Lyn, a genuine gamer (and actual girl) who appears regularly as a gaming expert and host on ManiaTV's "Arcade", UGO/1up.com and E! Entertainment. She has owned every system since Atari 2600, and told us that a few of her favorite games include "Fallout 3," "BioShock," "Gears of War 2," "God of War," "Portal" and "Metal Gear Solid 4." She was nice enough to clue us in to a few things we should never say to a girl who games.
10. "Oh, you're a gamer? Could I get you to dress up as Chun Li for me?" Hmm. Probably not, random guy I have never met before. Probably not.
9. "I went easy on you"/"I let you win." Just keep telling yourself that.
8. "No, you wouldn't like this game. It's all bloody and gory." Yes, and my tiny girl brain would not be able to handle anything that's not pink and glittery.
7. "You still play video games? What are you, 14?" If you're not down with gaming, fine. Whatever floats your boat, but no need to be rude. I don't judge your fantasy football league and affinity for "Girls Gone Wild."
6. "So 'X' -- that's the little blue button -- is jump." Gee, thanks, mister! Am I even holding this controller right-side-up?
Keep reading for the top five things you should never say to a gamer girl.
4. "Wow. I can't believe you actually beat me." Sorry 'bout that. Maybe the game cheated? A congratulations, however bitter, and a challenge of a rematch would have been a better way to play this scenario.
3. "You play video games? What, like 'Wii Fit' and 'Wii Tennis'?" Nothing against the Wii (sorry, I'm just not a fan) and casual gaming in general, but if someone is telling you they're a "gamer," these are probably not their games of choice.
2. "What's your gamertag? I bet I could kick your ass." See, there is a better way to go about this, with a similar line. Something like, "What's your gamertag? We should co-op sometime," would be so much more acceptable.
1. "You're not bad ... for a girl." The "not bad" part would have been sufficient. Said with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk would even be quite endearing. But that "for a girl" kills it, fella.
From the Web:
Mario and Princess Have a Sex TapeA disgusting sex tape. (College Humor)
Blue Screen of Death Belt BuckleFor nerds who need to keep their pants up. (Walyou)
Sausage FactoryA great new game for vegetarians. (Adult Swim)
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Comments:
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Wednesday 18 November
By wrightbrain
I love no. 4. My wife routinely beats me...and sometimes we play video games. XP
Reply
Wednesday 18 November
By james
LOL you should write for asylum
Thursday 19 November
By Eric
How about yelling, "OMG A GIRL!!!!! WHOSE SISTER IS THAT?!!!!" after hearing a girl's voice on VoIP? Is that OK?
Sunday 07 February
By shannon
"oh my god, it's a girl!" is also probably a bad idea. cam't tell you how many times i've heard that one. yes, girls do exist and have infilitrated your gaming universe. we will also beat your whole team, earn a killionaire badge made up solely of headshots, and hand you your ass in halo 3 live.
also- omg girl! sounds kind of pathetic, we;re not unicorns.
Monday 22 March
By durr
I like the way you took this feminist perspective and how you don't want to be patronized. THEN 'What's your gamertag? I bet I could kick your ass' that's wrong? I think it would be patronizing to stifle my male competitiveness and ask you to co-op b/c you have a vajj.
Wednesday 18 November
By Drew
That's just hilarious. Who the hell would even think of saying things like this? lol
Reply
Friday 27 November
By robtheblogger6
HAHAH. Gamer girls DON'T look like the image in this article. They just picked your typical model to pretend that others of the same are doing this.
Sunday 07 February
By shannon
ok- not to be overly confident or anything, but i'm pretty hot and i love video games. i have to admit i do prefer single player adventure games (ie- oblivion) but i'm great at the bloody gorey competitive video games. i'll pwn your face on just about everything.
but please god don't go "omg! girl! or are you a twelve year old boy?" girls aren't mythical creatures, you guys would know that if you got your heads out of the video games once in a while. it'd be good for you.
and by the way- nintendo NES is STILL the best gaming console ever. the super mario bros. with square mario is the best game in the world.
Thursday 11 February
By brad
Okay, granted girls play games, And yes all Gamers believe they can topple over everyone else, just don't say that since you are a girl you can out-do any guy. That is most likely not logical in any sense whether you are a guy or girl, there will always be a better player no matter the sex. And though many guys probably think that way about girls, they are immature and need to look back on what they just said. Most guys who take gaming seriously know that girls are a force to reckon with (me being on of those guys.) In my opinion girls should play more, it just offers more of a challenge, across all platforms. So girl gamers, tell your girlfriends to get into the gamer world. It's much better than it used to be.
Friday 19 November
By Farseer
@robtheblogger6,
Um, no - that's a picture of the interviewee. The author was nice enough to provide links for you to click on.
Wednesday 18 November
By Bernie
"I've never known anyone with a console in their kitchen"
Just let it sink in.
Reply
Friday 12 February
By Tara V
HAHAHAHAHA!
...........As a girl I am offended.
As someone with a sense of humor, Im giving that line to my husband (he is the housewife)
As a gamer, the first thing that came to mind was that berry thing in Pokemon Emerald for some reason, where you had to feed the pokemon yummy berries so they would evolve.
Monday 15 February
By giveobamaquarters
i like your style
Thursday 18 February
By Kellie
" 'I've never known anyone with a console in their kitchen"
Just let it sink in.' "
OMG That is hilarious even as a female I find that funny. I do play RPGs so I guess I am not you typical desired "Gamer girl" but in the games I like I am one of the best (And no it is not Sims)
Wednesday 18 November
By mike d
This is dumb. Half of those things no one says and the other half are just true. People make assumptions about gamer girls that are based off of experience. It's not our fault most girls who play in the "hardcore" genre like FPS and fighting games usually blow. We say things like "No, you wouldn't like this game. It's all bloody and gory." because we've heard countless girls comment about things being too violent or too gory. Or things like "You're not bad ... for a girl." because perhaps you don't stack up to the better male players but are extremely good considering your are a girl. Were not saying that you are inherently worse or at a disadvantage because you are a girl we are simply suggesting that the male video game playing populous generally performs better than the female one. Consider it a compliment. The biggest error in your list is the "So 'X' -- that's the little blue button -- is jump." No one says that to be patronizing or condescending but most girls wouldn't know what the "x" button is on a Xbox or Playstation controller without looking down at it. Once again we base our actions off of experience. However I am fully willing to admit that there are guys out there who knowingly say this stuff to experienced gamers who happen to be girls. They are A-holes and deserve any criticism they receive but for the average male gamer these comments are innocent and founded.
Reply
Wednesday 18 November
By Mr. Fat Jack
I know this is meant to be humorous, but it's really just silly. Where are these guys delivering these lines to these supposed "gamer girls"? In the magical "video game bars"? Honestly, where is this fictional place that complete strangers of the opposite sex just randomly walk up to people playing video games? Arcades barely exist anymore. All of the games mentioned in the article are for home gaming systems. If I walked into my living room and some strange woman was playing my XBOX I wouldn't be saying something like "What's your gamer tag?" or "The blue button is jump" or even "Want to play with my joystick?" No, it would be something more like "What the eff are you doing in my living room, lady??!?!"
Thursday 19 November
By Kat
Mr. Fat Jack: I wish there were a magical video game bar! But aside from a few dive arcade bars I know of around LA, I've never seen such a thing. Most of the obvious "line" lines (joystick, etc), come via email/myspace/facebook messages, as well as E3 and Comic Con after-parties. -Kathryn
Thursday 19 November
By DangerGirl
"However I am fully willing to admit that there are guys out there who knowingly say this stuff to experienced gamers who happen to be girls. They are A-holes and deserve any criticism they receive but for the average male gamer these comments are innocent and founded."
...dude, you just fell into your own trap. You're trying to make a distinction between chauvinistic guy gamers who are ignorant and/or sexist, and yourself. You've just managed to condescend to a generalized audience of women who are reading this post, who ARE "experienced" gamers. There's no such thing as innocent here...
I don't know what kind of girl gamers you're hanging around, but I've yet to hear any of my friends say "eek" at a VIDEO GAME that's too gory, or doesn't intuitively pick up control schemes 3 minutes after they start playing a game...ANY game. Everyone has their preference, or what they excel at...you're gonna tell me that you ROCK at ALL video games because you have a penis? I don't think so.
You're subscribing to the same chauvinistic notions that you tried to differentiate yourself from. And tbh, it's not true - the girls that you're basing your judgments off, are NOT avid gamers...because like I said, real gamer girls wouldn't say "eek" to a gory game, they'd say "hand me my pink remote and watch me kick your ass at Gears of War...on hard"
Thursday 19 November
By Sadie
I don't think I'd be offended, but then nobody has ever said anything like this to me ever. I have had people say, " I can't believe you beat me!" but I never assumed it was because I am a chick, but because they had been crowing how awesome they were at the game then promptly got their ass kicked.
I don't know any girls that could be considered "gamers," however, that are "oh no, violent game!!!!" whether or not they play them. But I will admit, I'm still new to FPS games and I suck balls stacked against experienced players. I probably wouldn't take offense to general gender based comments due to my performance even though it is more because I'm inexperienced and less to do with my femaleness. Still, if you are trying to pick up the chick those are definitely not the sort of comments to make. Otherwise, go for it, I suppose.
Thursday 26 November
By Julia
Let me tell you something funny. I've never lost a 1v1 match on Call of Duty 4. My accuracy is over 60%. I am in the top 100 around the world. I also play in Pro MLG tournaments in CA. (Not to brag). I can play any game. Give me some practice and I'll beat you. I think I win because I don't want to lose to an ignorant man that says I cannot play video games. So I guess my concentration and aggression comes from the stereotype that I am incapable of beating you because I have a Kaslopus. You are absolutely wrong. Although, I get upset when my "girl-friends" can't hold a controller and don't know what to press. It just takes a little brain use. My friends don't insult me or use these crappy pick up-lines to impress me or make themselves feel better. I'm your go-to girl if you want to own some. I wouldn't add you anyway on XBL if you're impressed with my gaming skills. Just shut your face if you can't hack it. Game on Gents!