Some ladies out there seem to have a grotesque fascination with the mustache. But, let's face it: Growing a 'stache at the behest of your woman puts you at risk for being mistaken for a dentist or science teacher. Sure, it's possible that you won't look ridiculous with some lip hair. On the other hand, you might just look absurd -- though you can't be judged for weak facial hair if it's Movember. (See: Lance Armstrong.)

Etsy designer Sally England of Grand Rapids, Mich., provides an enormous public service for the facial hair conundrum with the Mr. Moustache Pillow ($60). The headrest is not just emblazoned with a picture of a handsome Peter Parker lookalike: it comes with four velcro mustaches (Fu Manchu, trucker, gentleman and salt 'n pepper). This way your lady can make out with the nice man on the pillow and will just need you for activities from the neck down.

Sadly the pillow is currently sold out--figures!--but if we all flood the designer with requests, she's sure to make more. And that would save countless relationships.