Undoubtedly we've all had that lingering fear at least once in our lives that the cook was in the back doing something horrible to the food we ordered. But what happens when those people get caught? Apparently, they can end up in jail -- at least when the victim is a man of the badge.

Texan Jaime Perez, in his capacity as a cook, had at some point run afoul of the local police chief. When police were called to the restaurant for another matter entirely (Perez had gotten into a fight with a woman), the cook took it upon himself to admit that he'd done something to the chief's burger.

"I did it," Perez said on the recording. "That ain't no lie."

And what was "it?" Apparently, he wiped his butt on the bun, put the vegetables in his mouth and spit on the meat. Mmm ... down home cooking.

A witness to Perez's mouthing off about his crime told the chief, who came back to the restaurant and ordered another burger which he then sent to a lab for DNA testing. The tests showed nothing, but the fact that Perez admitted it on tape was enough to get him sent to trial, where he could face up to 10 years in prison for harassment of a public servant.

We'll also assume he missed out on a tip.

From the Web:
Bizarre Mug Shots (The Chive)
Insane Neighbor Wars (Burbia)