Network: 
If there's one thing that points to shoddy police work, it's the inability to catch a monkey. Florida police have nicely sidestepped this problem by deciding to let the woods be overtaken by a delinquent primate who was too wily for their half-hearted monkey-catching techniques.Authorities are worried that the monkey, probably a macaque, could be dangerous, but this shouldn't be a problem as long as nobody tries to steal its tiny accordion or insults its mother. Police had the 30-lb.primate cornered, but it managed to outsmart them and made its way into the woods. They are now just asking to be contacted in the event that somebody sees the monkey or their dignity.
Now that the search for the monkey has been canceled, the little fellow can finally get back to his usual monkey routine -- namely, stealing sunglasses from people and helping others in their quest to find magic lamps.
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Sunday 20 December
By Angie Hanick
I saw the little cutie without a brain. He was so freaked out that he was all over the place and he couldn't find help. Could you go in the tree to find him/her again? I will give you my permission.
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Sunday 20 December
By Hi Angie
Please help that clueless monkey!!!
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Sunday 27 December
By russell
I can see it now... the Florida Monkey Defense League... monkey defenders making a human shield to prevent his arrest... decoy monkey reports to confuse and distract the monkey hunters.
This monkey is well on his way to becoming a national hero. The police are at leat smart enough to let it ride until they can get some traps for the little booger... but it's simple, just put a banana in a big heavy bottle.. he will grab it and never let go... and the bottle will slow him down until he can be caught... with only one hand to defend himself. Really, this will work. My dad told me they had to do it all the time in WWII in Panama.
With any luck, they'll loan the monkey Letterman's monkeycam and we'll all have a play- by- play video of the action.
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Wednesday 06 January
By Carney
Old World monkeys, like the macaque of the story, are often too smart to fall for that trick. New World monkeys, like those your father encountered in Central America, are more distant from humans and less intelligent.
Wednesday 06 January
By Carney
The monkey in the picture is a squirrel monkey, not a macaque as in the story.
Yes, it makes a difference.
Squirrel monkeys are small, topping out at around 2 pounds. They're from South America, have cute faces and long tails, and run around quickly in trees.
Macaques are much bigger - the story says that this macaque is 30 pounds. A big difference! They're from Africa, and are more like apes. They have long snouts and very short tails, and mostly live on the ground.
It's like putting a picture of a Great Dane in a story about a missing Pomeranian.
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