Many of you could relate to the vicious insults hurled at Asylum editor Brian Childs' smooth, "Magnum P.I."-esque mustache, which he wants to remind everyone once again he grew for charity.

Jim Wells said, "When I came home from college trying to grow my first one, my Dad's comment was: 'Two kinds of people wear a mustache like that: c*cksuckers and movie stars. How many movies have you been in lately?'" Wait. Is Jim's dad the one from "S$!t My Dad Says"? Give that guy a reality show!

Meanwhile, Takahashi shared his soup strainer sob story, adding, "I told all my friends I refused to shave for a year. After a while they all stopped making comments about it. It's just who I am now."

Commenter Bea Arthur (writing in from the other side?) broke our hearts with this message of hope: "Your mustache is like the Ugly Duckling. It's become a beautiful porno loving swan."

Sniff, sniff. At the least our 'staches will catch our tears.