If there's any food that one could win an unlimited year's supply of without getting sick of it, it's pizza. With its ever-shifting array of toppings, it's a meal that stays fresh even if you eat it, say, three times a week for 50 consecutive weeks, like Seth Mazow has. Mazow was the winner of the "Hands on an Eggplant Sub" contest at Austin's hippest restaurant, Home Slice Pizza, in December 2008. In the game -- inspired by the now-defunct "Hands on a Hard Body" endurance competition -- contestants stand with one hand in constant contact with an eggplant sub for as long as they can. The last man standing receives a free pizza, any size and with any number of toppings, every time he walks through the restaurant's doors for the following year. Mazow has taken full advantage of the deal, chronicling his adventures on his blog, Year of the Pizza.
As he prepares to defend his title 50 weeks into enjoying the spoils of victory, Asylum wanted to know: What can you get from a year of free pizza, besides a little bit chubby? (For the record, Mazow is in surprisingly good shape.)
Pizza makes you cooler.
"I'm definitely cooler now than I was a year ago," Mazow told Asylum. "When you meet people, usually they ask you what you do. And everybody expects you to say, like, 'I'm a graphic designer,' or 'I'm a lawyer,' or 'I'm a barista,' and they just met five people who do what you do in the past two weeks. But I can say, 'I eat a lot of pizza,' and once I tell the story, that makes me a lot more interesting than most people they meet."
It also means that the Home Slice staff, who are some of the hipper folks in already-uber-hip Austin, recognize him as he's out and about, which doesn't hurt -- and even the prospect of being featured on Asylum paid off for Mazow. "My fiancee was really impressed," he said. "I got extra-laid last night."
Pizza gets you more friends.
A common complaint among guys is that it's hard to make new guy friends as you get older. Saying "Let's go out for a drink" to a guy you just met can feel a little awkward, but the novelty of Mazow's pizza prize means that he can ask a dude out on a man-date without it being weird.
"If you want to take a guy out to dinner, it's kind of strange," Mazow said, "But when I tell the story of how I get the pizza for free after winning the contest, everybody wants some of that." He's been able to use the prize to hang out with popular local bands and minor celebrities, too. "My favorite band in town is this group called the Lonesome Heroes, and they were playing at a festival nearby," he explained. "They looked like your normal starving-artist types, so I told them that if they wanted to come down the block, the pizza would be on me. I couldn't have invited them over to my apartment and told them we'd order some Mr. Gatti's, but this was cool."
Pizza gives you good karma.You know who really likes free food? Homeless people. While Mazow didn't want to cultivate a reputation among Austin's homeless population as the go-to guy for free pizza -- "Home Slice probably wouldn't appreciate that," he said -- that hasn't stopped him from "paying pizza forward," as he puts it, and helping the occasional person in need of a bite to eat. Austin's premiere homeless celebrity, perennial mayoral candidate Leslie Cochran, has been one recipient of Mazow's largesse.
"I just saw him on the street and introduced myself: 'Hi, my name's Seth, I get free pizza.' 'I like pizza!' We set a date, I checked if there was a dress code [Cochran, who has a dress-up doll series, is infamous as a cross-dresser], and we've gotten together a few times since."
Pizza gets you Web design, computer rentals and transportation.
Mazow, who works as a legislative aide during the Texas legislature's session, goes through cycles of unemployment. During those lean times, the pizza has done more than keep him fed -- it's also given him something to barter with.
"I wanted to build my Web site but I didn't know much about Wordpress and all of that, so I found a guy who'd help me with it in exchange for being taken out to pizza a couple times. A few weeks ago, I needed to borrow someone's computer that had Photoshop on it, so I advertised on Craigslist and found someone there."
And of course there's been beer. "I have a rule with my friends -- pizza on me, beer on you. It works out well for everybody. They get an amazing pizza and beer for the price of a couple pitchers, and I don't have to pay for either."
Pizza gives you a new identity."I walk into Home Slice, and I feel like Norm from 'Cheers,'" Mazow said when describing how it's affected him. "I'm pretty surprised by how much it defines me. People see me out and I'm the Pizza Guy."
This new identity has also forced him to train harder in anticipation of this year's contest: "If I lost, I guess I'd just be some guy."
To commemorate the experience -- win or lose -- he's also sought to preserve the original winning sub, which currently occupies a lot of space in his freezer. "I took it to a taxidermy place, but they said that there wasn't really anything they could do with it. I tried a University of Texas sculpture professor, and some other local artists, but they were skeptical, too. It's too expensive to get it bronzed, but I want to preserve it somehow.
"The artists told me that I should just take a pretty picture, so if I can't figure anything else out, I'm going to take it to the mall and get a Glamour Shots photo of me with the sub. I'm well aware that this could be the most glorious thing I ever do with my life."
Read more about Mazow's adventures in free pizza on his site, Year of the Pizza.
From the Web:
Comparing NFL Teams to Holiday FoodWho is going to be the baked ham? (Bleacher Report)
8 Unbelievably Racist AdsThat came out in the last few years. (Cracked)
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Comments:
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Wednesday 25 November
By Raphael Hyhtloday
Regarding: "This new identity has also forced him to train harder in anticipation of this year's contest: "If I lost, I guess I'd just be some guy." and: "I'm definitely cooler now than I was a year ago,"
Why don't you be your new cool self and let somebody else win so that somebody who is just "some guy" can experience what you have? Do you really want to be the pizza guy two years in a row?
Reply
Wednesday 25 November
By Seth
Do I really want to be the pizza guy two years in a row? Are you kidding?!?!? Hell yeah!
Reply
Saturday 28 November
By Ashley
What if you lacquered the sub?
http://www.ehow.com/how_5093039_preserve-food-display.html
Saturday 28 November
By IAN
Eating all that pizza will certainly be a big contribution to clogging many of his arteries.
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Saturday 28 November
By Steve
wanna cookie dude sounds like u want one - WHO CARES - why is this news - i dont get it - Hmmm weird news now adays- WHO CARES
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Saturday 28 November
By new briton
My baby really likes my homemade pizza. He never seemed to get enough of it. I'll make it for a year for him if he keeps on eating it. He will be the new pizza man.
Reply
Saturday 28 November
By jon
yo!!! free pizza for a year??? ill take it!!.....if i was him id try to win it again...you cant beat free pizza
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Saturday 28 November
By brad
There are only a few comments as of yet, but no need to be negative, Thankfully no spam yet, oh I'm trying to lose weight you get the point, hey its a cool thing!!! I wanted to know more about how long he had to hold on the sub, etc. I like these stories, anything other than the economy! Wonder if they deliver to him??? But hey its free, and if he wants to try again, heck yeah, why not?
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Saturday 28 November
By Eric
How long did the guy hang onto the sub?
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Saturday 28 November
By Dan Solomon
Only seven hours, as it happens. Most of the competitors weren't as serious about it as he was, and the one who was had a brain fart and took her hand off to adjust a blanket, giving him the crown.
Saturday 28 November
By cm
this kid is such a douche.
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Saturday 28 November
By Dean
Seth is an ultimate loser if all he has to define himself and his life is the free pizza for a year he won. His lame blog is nothing more then an advertisement for this pizza joint and the free loading moochers he brings along with him. I have eaten plenty of pizza in my life and those pizzas pictured look mediocre at best. Looks like mainly a load of dough and skinpy on the toppings, they clearly go light on the cheese. Looking at the menue it is way over priced too. The choice of toppings is minimal too. Only meats offered are pepperoni, sausage and meatball. What, no Canadian bacon, Italian salami, linguica, chicken, crisp bacon, broiled steak or ham? What, no fresh cilantro, pineapple, jalapeņo or zucchini? Guess they never even heard of an Hawiian Pizza there? Then again that is Texas, you could flatten out a cow pie and pass it off for pizza there.
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Sunday 29 November
By Jo Ann
Sounds like sour pizza sauce there Dean..lol I enjoyed reading about it. Nice to read something, well, nice for a change instead of natural disasters, killing, etc.
Sunday 29 November
By pizzabeerdude
Dean you suck the guy has found some happiness in his life, and all it took was pizza. I bet all the free sour cream in the world wouldnt make you happy! And as for the free loaders those guys go in with him and buy tons of beer I bet if anything the restaurant is profitting from it.
Wednesday 02 December
By Dean
I seriously doubt that this business owner put on this contest, with any expectation that this low life Seth would take advantage of him, for his personal financial gain. I hope this business owner learned a lesson and put restrictions and limitations on the future prize. Seth is a greedy pig bartering free pizzas for personal services to himself. For Seth to put an ad in Craigs List offering free pizzas in trade for anything, is just wrong and not what this prize was intended for. As for the business owner is most likely making a fortune off the sale of beverages and other items, if you look at any of the many pictures both in the article and in Seth's blog, all you see is pizzas. There are no pitchers of beer, beer mugs, beer bottles, sodas, garlic bread or anything else on the tables, that would cost anything extra. Seth ONLY consumes what he is getting for free. Seth's moment of fame is comming to an end, he will revert back to the insignificant nobody he was and soon forgotten, he will have to finally get a job.
Sunday 29 November
By Randi
hey dean why are u such a douche bag? What does texas have to do with anything?...I live in texas and dont live around any cow patties u a$$hole!!! Why dont u get a life and quite being negative towards people....Loser
Saturday 28 November
By Karen
As far as preserving the sub call Tony Packos In Toledo Ohio they preserve their buns with the stars names on them. They can tell you how to do it.
Reply
Sunday 29 November
By Tommy
I want to be that dude so bad!
Reply
Sunday 29 November
By j
Let him enjoy his victory, I say go for it Seth, if pizza hasn't made you sick by now go for it again!
Reply
Sunday 29 November
By upurs
wow ..now he's cool..and i bet the NSA..isn't watching him either..,or the FBI..!..lol..wow..i think i liked it better when the hells angels were still feared..jeeze at least the geeks stayed home and quiet..NOW THEY RUN THE COUNTRY..AND WHAT A MESS..!..have 3 beers and drive and you do time..!..aah ..ooh..i broke a nail..please don't turn me in..!
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