They say everyone is good at something, and it's probably true that someone out there is the best at urinating for distance or stealing pies off of windowsills. But some show-offs decide to make the rest of us look bad by being the best at something about a bajillion times over. We compiled the world's most prolific people in five fields, just in case you didn't already feel bad for spending your day watching funny YouTube videos and inviting people to join your Mafia family.

The Man Who Wrote 200,000 Books
Shakespeare wrote 38 plays and 154 sonnets. If writing prowess is measured in numbers (much the same way sexual prowess is), then while Philip M. Parker was banging supermodels and porn stars, Shakespeare would be stuck to a glory hole at a leper colony. Parker, who eschews both the standard pen and paper and actual knowledge of his subject matter, is easily the most prolific author of all time, with over 200,000 works.

You'd think you'd run out of stuff to say around 100,000, but lucky for Parker he's technically not saying anything. Instead, he created a computer algorithm that scours the Internet for free information.

Using a storehouse of over 60 computers, a pantload of similar information is compiled, his name is slapped on it, and it gets printed. And it's not just useless info either, as he's published winners like "The 2007-2012 Outlook for Tufted Washable Scatter Rugs, Bathmats and Sets That Measure 6-Feet-by-9-Feet or Smaller in India." That book costs almost $500, incidentally.

The fact that some of his books will only sell a couple dozen copies doesn't seem to matter much when you're cranking out tens of thousands. Very likely as time progresses his computer will end up publishing a bibliography of all his failed books in some kind of meta-awesome self-referential book that will cause the computer to become self-aware.

The Man With 20 Post-Graduate Degrees
Dr. Shrikant Jichkar, arguably, was smarter than you. And everyone else. While may not have been the most brilliant man on Earth, he was one of the most educated, possessing 20 post-graduate degrees, likely because he fell in love with '80s college movies and never wanted to leave his frat house (we assume).

Jichkar, a politician in his native India, went to school and did pretty well, becoming an M.D. Then he became a lawyer. Then he did business administration and journalism. He got master's degrees in sociology, history, psychology, philosophy, English literature and others. At one point he even joined the police force, apparently just for kicks, as he resigned sometime later. Because that was just his professional life, he was also a photographer, painter and actor, but, again, just for kicks.

The Man Who Plays Over 30 Instruments
Raghav Sachar could be his own orchestra if he moved a little faster. Sachar plays 30 instruments, while most of us barely managed to fumble through a trombone solo in middle school.

At age 4, Sachar picked up his father's harmonica and played the song his father had been playing exactly back to him. By age 6, his father had worked out a deal to give him one new musical instrument every year so long as he did not ask for anything else.

He had released four albums and formed a band before going to school to study music. Currently Sachar can crank out some "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on the guitar, drums, clarinet, saxophone, flute, keyboard and probably the triangle as well.

The Man With Over 3,200 Patents
Yoshiro Nakamatsu could be one of the most influential scientists of all time and you've probably never heard of him. He has over 3,200 patents to his name, leaving Thomas Edison in the dust, and seems to have no boundaries to what inspires him.

Nakamatsu's inventions range from the taxi meter to a personal lubricant that will make sex more enjoyable and a condom to help stop the spread of disease. Nakamatsu (who changed his name to Nakamats) apparently only eats one meal per day and sleeps only four hours, while using one of his inventions: a chair that can "rest the body and sharpen the mind" when he needs it. According to his calculations, he will live to be about 144 years old.


The Man Who Speaks 59 Languages
Although his claim to fame has been challenged and come up lacking before, there are supporters who confirm that Ziad Fazah can speak up to 59 different languages.

The truth of that claim is a little sketchy as there is video evidence of Fazah messing up while being questioned in a number of languages, but on the other hand if you were trying to choose between 59 potential responses to a question you'd probably get confused, too.

Fazah speaks some common languages -- Greek, Spanish, German and French -- as well as a few more obscure languages like Dzongka (the language of Bhutan), Papiamento (from the Caribbean) and Kyrgryz which, obviously, is spoken in Kygryzstan.