Ryan McKee, Asylum's resident genius, analyzes the latest Internet trends.

If you were confused as to why American flags are flying at half-mast today, it's not because the Taliban murdered Santa Claus. (They didn't; calm down). It's the 68th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor and, like everything involving our government, conspiracy bubbles up around it.

For the first time ever, Asylum brings you an exclusive look into the secret society entrusted with keeping this day that will live in infamy, well, infamous. Only a watchful trend genius, like Dr. McKee, would deduce such a group exists. Conspiracy theorists behold ...