Paranoia Alert -- Roving Gang of Foxes Cutting Brake Lines

For eight months, the residents of a small suburb of Greater London lived in fear that they would be the next victim of a crazed man who was terrorizing the neighborhood by randomly cutting people's brake lines.

Yeah ... that was just a couple of foxes with a taste for brake fluid, people.

Nine vehicles in the town of West Wikham, ranging in models from Mercedes to a Nissan, were hit by the brake-fluid bandit, causing worry among residents that they would be the next targets of this criminal mastermind who clearly didn't care what walk of life his victims were from. Forensic evidence was gathered, CCTV was ruthlessly studied, and finally a professor of biology handed down the verdict: It's foxes.

It turns out foxes love to chew on things, and certain foxes also love the taste of brake fluid. These are probably like the drunk uncles of the fox world. And, like drunk uncles, there is only one way to defeat these foxes -- attack them with their natural predator: angry golden eagles. The natural predator for drunk uncles, ironically, is a fox with a taste for brake fluid.