Super Lunch Lady: Look, someone has to keep the sloppy joes coming. Why not recognize her when the holiday season rolls around?

Pitiful Valentine's: Apparently, the old days were marred by a crippling lack of self-esteem.

Penguin Awareness Day: Are your friends and loved ones aware of Penguin Awareness Day? No? Send them this adorable greeting card. Then cross your fingers that they'll remain your friends.

Happy Manniversary: For that special day between a man and his gay robot -- nothing says I love you better than a card.

Metrosexual Father's Day
Thanks, son! I was hoping someone had remembered!

For the jailbird in your life: Don't settle for Hallmark for loved ones in the big house. Several companies have devised greeting cards specifically for the incarcerated. Just don't stuff a shiv inside one -- the guards will definitely notice.

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" Valentines:
Send that special SVU fan in your life one of these hilarious valentines inspired by the highly-popular "Law & Order: Rape Unit," er, "Special Victims Unit." What's more romantic than Detective Munch and the gang? From Brandon Bird.