Strange things happen when people are all hopped up on Christmas spirit. Perhaps it's the ubiquitous, toxic holly berries or the nog spiked with cheap rum, but when we put out a call for weird holiday stories, our contributing writers responded with tales that would make Santa consider arming himself before entering homes.

We asked comedian Nick Stevens of AMC's "Action Pack" to provide a dramatic reading of two of the most insane Christmas memories we received.

Give the videos a look and let us know in the comments if you have any Christmas memories that are equally (or, God help you, more) twisted ...

Rose's Tale of a Suitcase, Kitchen Shears and a Punch in the Eye

Greg's Hand-Rolled Yule Log