That would be Bernie Madoff, right? Nope, sorry, we're looking for new blood. He held that position in 2008
, and we're term-limiting the crook.
So think hard. You might hate Barack Obama; you might hate Sarah Palin. Unless you're trapped deep in the recesses of Red State or The Daily Kos, however, you surely realize that we're never going to all
agree to hate either one of them.
The goal today is to identify a well-deserving person who brings together Americans no matter what their background or political affiliation in collective disdain for everything that person stands for. We've picked out a bunch of the year's most unpopular figures for you to choose from. The list isn't exhaustive, though, so make use of the comment section to fill us in on any loathsome miscreants we missed.
Who Was the Most Universally Despised in 2009?
|Octomom -- a maternal freakshow.||3855 (35.0%)|
|Chris Brown -- broke the number one rule of being a man. ||3075 (27.9%)|
|John Edwards -- a sliminess that transcends partisan politics.||1083 (9.8%)|
|The Anonymous Wall Street Banker -- who is this sneaky bastard?||2522 (22.9%)|
|Tiger Woods -- hey, it's topical.||478 (4.3%)|
Granted, Nadya Suleman
gets a little bit of credit for keeping a lower profile in the second half of '09, but what a self-indulgent horror show this woman is! She treated her body like a low-grade puppy mill and then did all she could to charge her prodigious baby-birthing to the taxpayers. Clearly, the 34-year-old was going out of her way to try to steal Angelina Jolie
's maternal thunder -- which sort of ruined Angelina Jolie for us in 2009, as well.
The sad truth is that Chris Brown
is not the first famous man to get violent with a woman. He isn't even the first one to get busted for roughing up a woman who is at least as famous as he is
(see: Bobby Brown, Ike Turner, Axl Rose
, etc.). As any of his predecessors could tell him, "Bad move, Chris Breezy, because the fame thing will only protect you from beating on the little people." (Speaking of out-of-control entertainers, you'll notice the universally despised Kanye West
is not on this list. Because, really, you don't hate
In 2009, we learned Edwards continued his run for president the previous year despite the fact that he had a love child on the way
. So, if he had managed to win the Democratic primary, the ensuing scandal would have ensured us of living with the threat of being governed by Vice-President Palin
at any moment. While this reckless act of hubris
should raise the ire of any Democrat, Republicans can still hate Edwards because he is the epitome of an insincere, limousine-liberal trial lawyer. Then everyone else can despise the slimy cad for not only cheating on his dying wife, but cruelly lying to her about it and allowing her to make a fool of herself on the public stage.
The Anonymous Wall Street Banker
The Anonymous Wall Street Banker pulled off the coup of 2009 by, well, remaining anonymous. What's the point of the getting out the pitchforks if you don't know who to point them at? If you do find this elusive villain, at least demand that he buy you a drink (or a private jet). He probably will; after all he'll still be getting a hefty bonus, thanks to our generous bailout
Wait, you hate Tiger Woods
? How could you possibly hate someone who has so thoroughly entertained us for the last couple weeks? We weren't going to include him, but just about everyone we mentioned this poll to suggested Tiger be in it. So here he is. At least it gives his poor wife
's parents someone to vote for.
From the Web:
7 Inventors You Didn't Know You Wanted to Punch in the Face
The guy who created the infomercial
, for example. (Cracked
Recast with athletes
. (Bleacher Report)