The Taekwondo Monkey Attack BeginsIf there's one thing the world needs more of, it's monkeys that are skilled in the martial arts. And so we generously salute Lo Wung, a Chinese street performer who makes a living off of teaching his pet primates the finer points of Taekwondo.

Even so, we're willing to bet that the 42-year-old man from the Hubei province of China is probably moaning whatever's Mandarin for "What was I thinking!?" after his troop of chop-socky simians ganged up and attacked him outside a busy mall in the town of Nshi.

According to eyewitness reports, it all started when one of his monkeys punched him the eye. This was quickly followed up with a fish-hook pull of the nostril. And then everything went bananas*, with the rest of his pet monkeys joining in and laying the kind of beating on Lo Wung not seen since that crazy fight on a New York City subway.

Eventually, Lo Wung managed to corral them all together with a piece of rope. But then he inexplicably forced them to kneel, tied their hands behind their backs, and publicly shamed them.

We're thinking this last part wasn't the smartest move. If we know monkey martial artists, and we definitely do, Lo Wung had better be sleeping with one eye open for a long time to come.

*sorry.