Guy Hitches Ride on Train, Instantly Regrets It

Much like trying rock and rye or eating hot food from 7-Eleven, attempting to ride the rails like a hobo is one of those things that sounds like a great idea when wasted. Unfortunately, nobody was around to tell Canadian Jonathan Hambler that he was listening to the voice of Molson rather than the voice of reason.

After making sure a drunk pal got home after a long night at a bar, the also-kind-of-drunk Hambler decided that he just didn't want to walk those few extra dozen blocks to his own house. Fortuitously enough, what should happen by? You guessed it -- a slow-moving freight train.

Hambler hopped the train, hobo-style, knowing it would soon pass right by his home. What he was too tipsy to surmise is that the train was going to start picking up speed. Wearing just sneakers, thin pants, a winter jacket, and no gloves, he soon found himself sitting atop a train going 55 mph in four degree weather. In other words, he was pretty screwed.

Luckily, he was just sober enough to whip out his phone to call 911, at which point the Royal Canadian Mounted Police came up with the plan to save his sorry, hypothermic hide. In an interview with CTV, Hambler summed up the situation by stating the obvious: "I feel pretty stupid."

The Mounties knew there were only two trains that operated out of Hambler's hometown that night, and that they had to figure out which one Hambler was riding on, so they contacted the engineers of both trains and had them blow their whistles. The operator had Hambler tell her when he heard a horn, and that train was brought to a halt. Seriously, that's actually what happened.

Although it might sound a little bit like a scene from "24," Hambler insists it was no joyride, telling CTV News, "Some of my friends are like, 'Oh, that's crazy, you're awesome.' It's like, 'No, man, I'm not awesome. I just about died.' Reality kicked me in the face." By the time rescuing officers found him, Hambler was drifting in and out of consciousness and he had hypothermia.

So the next time you've had a few too many and you get a hankering to hop a train, remember, it's probably for the best if you just stick with the limited-edition Sherlock Holmes taquitos and call it a night.