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As Christmas nears, one of America's most hallowed holiday traditions will be dutifully observed from coast to coast: avoiding one's relatives by heading to the bar.

It was under these circumstances that our writer spent a recent Sunday night at a watering hole in Dallas. But as he drank his family troubles away, he decided he needed to go somewhere, anywhere that wasn't located within the city limits of the Big D.

Spurred on by cheesy music pumping from the bar's speakers, he pulled out his trusty iPhone to see if the Google Maps app could answer the age-old question: Won't you take me to Funky Town?

The answer: maybe. With the Funky Town address "unverified" by Google -- and its suspected location all the way out in California -- he decided to type in a few other fictional happy places. Read on to see where our writer ended up.









As you can see, with Funky Town, Monkeytown, Narnia, and Bedrock all a two-day drive away, our man was left with Sunnydale and the Love Shack as his only viable options. While we're as obsessed with vampires as the rest of America is right now (Team Edward!) -- not to mention still interested in catching any glimpse of Willow and Faith -- we know from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" finale that that town's supposed to be a crater right now.

That left us heading to the Love Shack in Fort Worth late on a Sunday night -- and the less we tell you about that experience, the better. Thanks, Google!