You bought your brother an Xbox game, your sister a single ticket to see Kelly Clarkson
and your parents a chaise lounge you found on Craigslist
-- you wanted to prove to them you're mature enough to purchase furniture without their help.
Of course, you forgot one person in all of the five minutes you spent holiday shopping: yourself. Thankfully, we've found the perfect gift for the (actual) most important person in your life. And if your girlfriend ever learns she's number two around here, you'll really need these calendars of women in bikinis cavorting around on the beach with their equally sexy female friends.
My Little Calendar Girl 2010 Calendar
This pointless extravaganza features almost a dozen sexy bikini models, many of whom you've seen naked in the Playboys
you secretly get at your PO box. The main attraction is Jayde Nicole
; other notables include Suzanne Stokes
, who last appeared in Playboy in 2000 and has done little of note since, and Heidi Wheeler
, who can be seen naked online for free. Still, the photos are all ridiculously hot.
Maxim 2010 Wall Calendar
The problem with Maxim
is that their expert Photoshopping makes everyone -- even the utterly unappealing -- look smokin' hot. The good thing: not one of them will waste a month of your life by appearing on your 2010 (16-month) Maxim Wall Calendar. Every one of these models is probably a knockout in real life, although we have no idea who they are.
Sports Illustrated 2010 Calendar
The swimsuit issue
is and always will be the most popular yearly edition of a magazine that no one reads anymore. That's why you can cancel your subscription to SI and just get this calendar -- you'll see it every day for a year and not have to waste your brain cells passing over insipid, post-game quotes from Alex Rodriguez
. It includes shots of Brooklyn Decker
, Lucia Dvorska, Irina Shayk and Bar Refaeli
Bikini Babes 2010 Calendar
If you're looking for an awkward, amateurish calendar full of photos of girls looking a little uncomfortable in bikinis, this is the one you've always wanted. Leader Christine Lee got together a bunch of friends
, many of whom apparently are without last names, and shot these on a beach somewhere in the United States. If you need more information than that, perhaps this calendar
is more up your alley.
"Hollyoaks" 2010 Wall Calendar
We get "The Hills
," "Wife Swap
," and "Rock of Love
" ... England gets "Hollyoaks
." You would think a show about sexy femme fatales who attend community college would end up being an unwatchable train wreck. (And you would be right.) But the show stars Zoë Lister
, who is so hot you will stab out your eyeballs because you can't bear to look at these photos of her in lingerie
Tennessee Titans Cheerleader 2010 Calendar
It's a wonder there aren't more calendars from professional cheerleaders. (If this one is any indication, most of them would be essential holiday purchases.) And if this runway show
the girls threw together offers any clue, you'll be keeping this up on your bedroom wall until at least 2012 ...
From the Web:
Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitscho Have Been Sparring
The sheer physics are enough to boggle the mind.
Sexy Tall Girls
They will crush you with their hotness.