Just when you thought that all the good news stories were over for 2009, in comes this nugget from (where else?) Florida, where a drunk man called 911 to get a ride to a bar.

Gregory J. Oras, a fine upstanding gentleman from Oldsmar, Fla., made a total of three 911 calls after leaving a bar at 1 a.m. on Tuesday, claiming people had broken his nose and were shooting at him. When police arrived, they found that he wasn't injured and really just wanted a ride to Hennessy's, another bar in the area.

But wait, it gets better. After police arrested Oras and tried to get him in the back seat of the patrol car, he kicked a deputy in the knees, forcing cops to bring out the taser.

But wait, it gets even better. When police finally subdued Oras and booked him into Pinellas County Jail, they noticed that the suspect's facial tattoos were actually the most normal ones on his body. Others included a naked woman and a pumpkin head on his chest and stomach, a Batman symbol with breasts on his arm, a crucified squirrel with a two-headed baby on his other arm and the word cannibalism spelled out on his fingers.

Thank you, Gregory J. Oras, and thank you Florida for making 2009 a memorable year in Weird News.