Ryan McKee is an Asylum blogger and video contributor. He is also an idiot. In the past, I've ruined a Halloween and a couple Christmases, but this year was the first time I ruined New Year's.
On the fateful eve, me and my girlfriend and her best friend Sally spent the final seconds of a brilliant and hectic decade in Times Square. At midnight, we shouted "Happy New Year," and I turned to kiss my wonderful date, as is traditional.
But when I finished with my New Year's kiss, I saw Sally standing alone. I didn't want anyone I cared for to leave Times Square without being kissed. I sprang and planted my lips against hers.
Obviously, I've watched too many bad films this year, because a Vince-Vaughn character entered my body and said, "Hey, it'd be hilarious if you stuck your tongue in her mouth." My tongue awkwardly forced its way in.
It played out in my head like this: My girlfriend and her friend would be shocked, until I made it blatantly clear it wasn't sexual, but good-natured, whiskey-buzzed fun between friends. Everyone would laugh.
Keep reading to find out what actually happened.
Pulling away, I noticed the two ladies were predictably shocked. However, they didn't break into laughter as I estimated. The shock continued.
"Ha, ha," I said, indicating we could all laugh now.
Nothing. Tough room. Their astonished faces turned and walked back into the bar. Later my girlfriend told me I ruined New Year's. When I sought solace from my friend of loosest morals, a guy with tattoos of naked ladies, he said, "Oh, you f**ked up." All of my friends have echoed his sentiment since.
Graciously, my girlfriend has granted me a stay of execution. I understand why her feelings were hurt, and I'm sorry for that.
However, was I really so undeniably wrong? I still maintain the kiss was good-hearted. Would anyone, male or female, find it funny? Possibly even charming? If anyone out there finds my actions even mildly explainable, please speak now and back a brother up. Anyone?
| It depends how pretty she is | |
|---|---|
| If there's no tongue | |
| As long as it's not her sister | |
| If it's innocent | |
| You're an idiot for even asking |


























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Comments:
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Thursday 07 January
By aeast
I think its funny, and good hearted honestly.
Reply
Tuesday 05 January
By blazineric
Dude...unless you are an actor, and you are in a MOVIE or PLAY. Kissing on the lips of ANYONE let alone TOUNGE is WAY WAY WAY inappropriate.
And really. the best way for your to realize this is to swap the scenario.
Lets say you watched your gf do the EXACT same thing to some friend of yours. would you be okay with it? as you watch her tongue touch the other dudes lips?
If you say YES, then i doubt you and your GF should be together. If you say NO. then you should understand reality and buy your GF a big present and hope things arnt awkward forever.
period.
Reply
Thursday 07 January
By Big T
Sorry man that was Dumb. Why the tongue? you probably could have saved the dumbassery if it weren't for the tongue. Should've asked your girlfriend to kiss Sally.
Reply
Tuesday 05 January
By Jay Main
Every New Year's Eve, I kiss all the women that are nearby. If I don't notice one, my wife will remind me. Hell, New Year's Eve of 2008, she whispered to me beforehand to not only kiss, but to 'make out' with her friend because she didn't have a boyfriend at the time and was lonely.
I feel badly for guys that have women that are so insecure and jealous that they would get mad at a New Year's kiss.
And, yes, even tongue.
Reply
Tuesday 05 January
By Jay Main
Every New Year's Eve, I kiss all the women that are nearby. If I don't notice one, my wife will remind me. Hell, New Year's Eve of 2008, she whispered to me beforehand to not only kiss, but to 'make out' with her friend because she didn't have a boyfriend at the time and was lonely.
I feel badly for guys that have women that are so insecure and jealous that they would get mad at a New Year's kiss.
And, yes, even tongue.
Reply
Thursday 07 January
By Beverly
You don't love your wife and you don't respect her and she has no respect for herself. When you choose to marry, you are pledging yourself to the other person and kissing another person on the lips, especially with tongue, is not supposed to happen. When you choose to marry you are also choosing to make a commitment to the other person. I think you are a louse.
Tuesday 05 January
By ThisChick
A kiss on the cheek would have been fine. I find it kind of funny, but then again, I'm not involved.
Reply
Thursday 07 January
By danny
man if u got a way wit it fu** it haha .. u were prolly drunk n sally prolly looked hot ... but did she kiss back ?
i need to do that next new years lol ...
like i always say "its always easiest to get at ur girls friends"
i realized femals see there friend happy n they get curious bout wat about him making her so happy ...
(not every single femal)
but thats just my opinion ...
Reply
Thursday 07 January
By Lisa H
As a female I'll throw my opinion in there for you. Its the tongue that made it bad. Kiss on the cheeck, fine, kiss on the lips, still fine, even if it was an over dramitic big kiss with a dip still fine! Its all in fun till your tongue is in the wrong mouth!
Reply
Thursday 07 January
By Beverly
So, you wouldn't be upset if your husband or boyfriend, if you're not married, gave another woman the same kind of kiss he gives you? It's not even about jealousy; it's about trust and respect. People who truly love and cherish each other don't behave like that.
Wednesday 13 January
By mac
OK, I folowed you from the other thread....
You're right here too :-)
Though, from the post at the other thread, I'd imagine I'd probably still kiss you. And, if my tounge might or might not slip - it just all depends on how receptive you might be :-P
Thursday 07 January
By Pharacon
What he was really thinking was.. threeway. When the fail boat pulled up he pulled out the "it is a joke!" card.
Reply