40. PETA's First Totally-Naked-Boobies Ad
Here's a rhetorical question: if you were PETA and you decided to create your first uncensored naked protest ad, who would you get other than Keeley Hazell (NSFW)? That's right, the boobs and butt of Britain's champion nude model popped up stateside to support the country's most vilified activist outfit. Next year: hardcore porn videos, featuring Angelina Jolie, for UNICEF.


39. The Robot Striptease
Robot sex is a creepy fetish we want nothing to do with, not even as a joke. However, sex with robots is another matter, particularly when they first seduce us with stripteases that are so memorable, they deserve a $5,000 prize and to become their own Internet meme. It's never too late for "Robot Love" to become one, you know ...


38. Asylum Increased Your Chances of Getting Laid by 100 Percent
Don't ever say we've never done anything for you here at Asylum. Based on this totally unscientific pie chart created from scientific surveys from around the world, we increased your chances of getting laid from zero to 100 percent. Beat that, "marriage."



37. The Small Penis Forum
It's time we as a nation stopped pretending that everyone has a Holmesian dick they're proud of. Most guys say "average" when they mean "below average" or "acorn." Finally, there's an unashamed forum for your unrestrained (because there's not much to restrain, heh heh) sexuality. And to us, that's sexy.


36. Nude Modeling at the Met and on the Subway
How dare these women run around naked in an art museum, where there might be children looking at naked-lady paintings? How dare these women take off their clothes on the subway, where everyone knows the only tolerated nudity is homeless men exposing themselves?

For those of us who aren't Judy Prudeys, we have to thank the perfectly named photographer Zach Hyman, who is responsible for both of these unpermitted photo sessions. Thank God Giuliani isn't still in office, or he might have faced the firing squad over all this.

35. Video Game Burlesque
What do Princess Peach from "Super Mario Bros.," Lara Croft from "Tomb Raider" and your mom all have in common? They're all hot video game characters (well, except for your mom, unless your mom is Chyna from WWE.)

The wacky organizers of New York City's video game burlesque night decided to combine an antiquated art form with 8-bit Nintendo games, and, luckily, they thought Asylum readers worthy of the resultant photographs. Who knew that that "Carmen Sandiego" game was borderline pornographic?

34. "Saved by the Bell" Porno
We have yet to see it, but we already know the "Saved by the Bell" porno is going to be the best porn parody yet. For one thing, it will finally prove to others that this laughably mindless show was basically an adult film, minus all the on-screen sex.

Bad acting, sexy high school classroom scenarios and the total lack of plot in every episode made it feel like a porn script from 1926 already, but throw in Ashlyn Rae playing Kelly Kapowski and the final puzzle piece clicks into place.
33. The Brazilian Minidress Affair
Look, we don't want to end up developing a reputation as the site that likes to make fun of Brazil. We love Brazil, we really do. But not even the staunchest defender of Brazilian culture can stand behind this kind of behavior.

What, you Brazilians don't want to see your hot, local South American girls in their skimpiest minidresses? You are not men.


32. Miss Coney Island, Gigi LaFemme
Gigi LaFemme may not be a household name, but that didn't stop us from obsessing over every detail of her body, um, of work after the burlesque dancer was named Miss Coney Island 2009. In fact, we took about ten-thousand photos of her victory performance, capturing the babe in all her glory -- well, with some of that glory covered by pasties, but still. Now, not even the grouchy Mayor of New York could tear down a neighborhood that would give us this.

31. Plus-Size Models Go Naked in Glamour
As longtime appreciators of the plus-size model, we were way into the famed Glamour photo shoot from the November issue, which followed the controversy of the previous issue's photo of plus-size model Lizzie Miller. Like Miller, these girls may sport a few extra pounds (at least for models), but it didn't hinder our desire for them at all.