Who isn't sick of all the talk of New Year's resolutions? Here at Asylum, we've spent the past week strategically refusing to participate in the generic lose-weight/join-the-gym/go-on-a-diet regimen. After all, sitting still can be considered an accomplishment, so get off our back, already.

Unless the person telling us to shape up is Chuck Muthaf**king Norris. In that case, we'll obey the master's methods for becoming buff. And that's great news for you readers, because we're giving away Walker, Texas Ranger's workout apparatus of choice: a Total Gym XLS.

One lucky Asylum fan will be randomly selected to win the top-of-the-line model of the Total Gym, complete with a 400-lb. weight capacity, an upgraded pulley and cable system and more than 80 different exercise positions.

Please click through to fill out the form and enter the contest, which ends at 5:00 p.m. EST on Jan. 25. You've probably seen the infomercials before, so you know you're signing up to get a seriously manly physique. But just in case you want to enjoy Chuck's endorsements firsthand, we've included a video clip for you, as well.

UPDATE: Contest now closed.

Asylum's "Total Gym" giveaway is open only to legal residents of the 50 United States, the District of Columbia and Canada (excluding Quebec) who are 18 and older. To enter, please use the form on this post. You must enter before 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Monday, Jan. 25, 2010. You may enter once per email address, and one winner will be selected in a random drawing. The prize includes the following item: 1 Total Gym XLS (approximate total retail value $1,948.05). Click here for complete Official Rules.