With NBC's late-night schedule descending into chaos, the great minds of the entertainment business are at Spago and other Beverly Hills restaurants today debating this question: "Who will replace our boy Conan O'Brien?"

One man with the gumption, the comedy bona fides, and the knack for bizarre, not-ready-for-prime-time bits is nominating himself for consideration. That man is Joe Garden, the features editor of The Onion.

Garden has rejiggered his scrappy 2005 Internet campaign to support his candidacy to replace Conan O'Brien as host of "Late Night" -- a quest he ended when news broke that Jimmy Fallon had been given the gig instead. Now that Jay Leno is likely to retake the reins of "The Tonight Show," and with Conan almost certainly leaving NBC, the network may once again be looking for a new late-night talent.

Might Joe Garden be that talent? Keep reading to learn more about his plans to save television from its unfunny, chaotic self.

Garden, whose Web site, Vote Joe!, is not to be confused with Sen. Joe Lieberman propaganda, basically boils his argument down to this: "We cannot afford another Craig Kilborn." Indeed. But he tells Asylum that his sights aren't limited to the National Bonehead Company. "I am going to strive to get on any network -- PBS, the Food Network, the Spice Channel, whatever -- and work to uplift the whole broadcast medium by example," he says.

Garden admits that he'd screw over NBC for a chance to revitalize the cult 1980s show "Night Flight" for the USA network. "They showed music documentaries, insane art films, public-domain features, videos by German industrial bands, and so on," he recalls. "I'd love to bring that back -- only with more comedy. I'd love to do a show that did what 'Night Flight' and 'Late Night' did for me."

We're sold. Wouldn't wee-hours TV be so much more charming and hostility-free with Joe Garden and without Jay "The Chin" Leno?