Jan 20th 2010 By Brian Fairbanks
's shuttle program coming to a close later this year, the government has decided to clean its storage closet of many unwanted items. Luckily for space-junk fans, we found NASA's amazing and sexily named Web site GSAXcess
, which allows the good folks at institutions like the Smithsonian and 4chan
access to pictures of the artifacts, which can then be rented out like a Netflix DVD or a space hooker to your museum or school (if you pass a screening).
Keep reading to check out some of the available booty. (And also find out about our attempt to claim a space shuttle engine
Because their original uses are far too technical/nerdy/boring/scientific for us, we've taken the liberty of speculating on our own ideal and/or conspiratorial uses for each object ...
Liquid Cooling Ventilation Garment:
Is it a Liquid Cooling Ventilation Garment, used to ensure maximum insulation from anyone who may have caught on fire, or a stunning piece of lingerie Judy Garland might have worn while on a glorious bender
? Actually, it's just a Liquid Cooling Ventilation Garment.
This green glove is actually being used as a prop for the upcoming "Green Hornet"
movie, in which Christoph Waltz smacks some funny into Seth Rogen. Or, it's just the severed hand of the Jolly Green Giant, but don't tell NASA that. We want this one for ourselves.
This was an outtake from the original stop-motion music video for David Bowie's "Space Oddity." That, or it's the model used to stage the fake moon landing
Shuttle Hard Upper Torso Assembly:
Not many people are aware of this, but George Lucas's original design
for R2D2 was this masturbation machine discovered on Mars by lonely astronauts. Oh no, wait, that's a space Crockpot. Our bad.
(Also check out our attempt to claim one of the Space Shuttle engines.