In high school, every dude's primary goal was to become a sports superstar. Besides figuring out a way to get Becky Madison out of her sweater, that is.

Our relentless pursuit for athletic perfection was hindered, of course, by the sad fact that we were actually quite a nerd. To have any chance at being good at sports, we had to rely on our brain to give us an edge.

Now that we're older, we are still a math nerd, and we are still obsessed with using math to help our sports game. Only now we need to be Einstein to compensate for the crippling effect that drinking has had on our performance.

As always, Asylum is here to help. Read on to learn five unique ways that math can help you stay competitive at sports.

The Dartboard Heatmap
Finding the best place to aim at a dartboard can be trickier than navigating an authentic English pub without slipping on a tooth. Sure, the triple 20 space gets you the highest points, but if you miss to the side, you're hitting a 1. People who aim for the middle subject themselves to a pretty random outcome if they don't hit the bull's-eye square.

With this in mind, three geniuses at Stanford created a program that tells you exactly where to aim to maximize your personal performance. You just enter your most recent 50 dart shots and receive a map of the dartboard showing you where to throw. You can even recalibrate it after you've downed that 12-pack and thrown your car keys down a manhole.
The Golf Ball Dimple Supercomputer
Adding dimples can make a golf ball fly much further, but exactly where to place the dimples has generally remained a mystery. Since there are no pro golf regulations concerning dimple patterns, whoever finds the perfect one stands to change the face of golf -- and make a mint in the process.

This explains why Arizona State University mathematicians are using supercomputers to figure out the exact ways in which dimples affect the flow of air around a golf ball. Because these calculations can take years, there is no clear consensus on which golf ball is the best. In the meantime, science has created a ball that is resistant to slicing during putts, which at the very least should help you dominate on the miniature golf course.
The Basketball Zone
Trivia question: If a player averages 50 percent shooting, and they have made 6 straight shots, what are the odds they will make their next shot? Fifty percent -- right?

Sports science says no.

According to researchers, there exists something called "the zone," a phenomenon in which an athlete performing to the best of their expectations can be relied upon to exceed average performance in the near future. So, if you have a hot hand in backyard hoops, it's okay to hog the ball until you cool off.
Billiard Table of the Future
Anyone who's ever seen this Donald Duck mathematical acid trip video knows there is a high level of mathematics involved with a billiard table. But for some reason, they decided to put billiard tables right next to people who serve you drinks, making extensive mathematical computations undesirable.

Well, the whole "thinking" part of billiards may soon be a thing of the past, thanks to brainiacs at Georgia Tech who have built a program to show the shooter the exact trajectory of the ball before each shot (as demonstrated in this clip). With this tool, even Donald Duck could shoot a mean game, although he would probably be totally high and shooting an educational video at the same time.
5. The Science of Beer Pong
Many mathematical factors can effect how little or much you have to drink in a game of beer pong. But the most important? Use spin.

Air flowing around the ping-pong ball can cause it to have some unintended effects. As a ping-pong ball without spin is more susceptible to unwanted air interference, make sure to give your ping-pong ball slight backspin or topspin. This diagram shows popular methods of obtaining spin to reduce drag coefficient.

Please note: We are providing these instructions solely so you can impress people you find sexually attractive. People who actually care about winning at beer pong are too sober.