The English language is a tricky devil to wrap your head around sometimes. It's a hard language to learn for non-native speakers, and it has more irregularities than an old-folks home. With that in mind, we're here to help by giving you a handy guide for those nagging issues and confusing rules (or exceptions) that arise from time to time to help make sure you're using your language correctly. Affect vs. Effect
What a silly pair of words. Will you be affected by the effect? Not if you're not sure what you're talking about. So here's a handy tip for remembering which is the verb and which is the noun:
Lady Gaga affects the brain stem, leading to bleeding ears and other painful effects.
Who vs. Whom
Smarty threw a party and no one came -- remember that. A lot of people toss "whom" about willy nilly because they think it makes them sound smart like Frasier, but there's a time and a place for all whoms, which we're not even sure can be pluralized. Anyway, you want "who" when it's the subject and "whom" when it's the object of the sentence.
Who kicked whom in the groin?
Why is this correct and the reverse not? Replace who with "he" and whom with "him" and if the sentence makes sense, then Bob's your uncle.
Which vs. That
Most people won't give you trouble for this as grammar rules have loosened over the years, but if you want to be a stickler, "that" is important and "which" is not. Which is to say "that" is for essential parts of the sentence which, if they were removed, would change its meaning (and no commas are needed). "Which," on the other hand, is for use in sentences that have extra, non-essential information added.
The thing that bit me was a zombie.
The bite, which later turned me into a zombie, was oozing pus.
Notice in the second sentence that you can remove the whole part about the zombie and still appreciate the pus-oozing bite. If you remove anything in the first sentence you lose all kinds of meaning.
Me vs. I
This is another case where often people want to sound smart and for some reason "I" sounds smarter than "me." Saying "Jerry watched me and Billy Joe eat fudge all afternoon" just seems wrong to some people, when in fact it's perfectly fine, although that much fudge is not healthy.
Basically, in order to figure this out, take out any reference to other people and see if the sentence makes sense.
Billy and I drank Thunderbird and he passed out on me in the dumpster.
"Me drank Thunderbird" and "passed out on I" just don't sound right, now do they?
Its vs. It's
This one seems easy but it sneaks in all the time, and the reason is because it's just weird. We're used to the possessive of any word ending in an apostrophe-s, so we want to use "it's" to mean that something belongs to it. Unfortunately, "it's" was stolen by the contraction for "it is" and we can't have two contractions that look the same but mean different things; all hell would break loose.
It's not our fault its apostrophe is missing.


























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Friday 29 January
By Former sailor
My apology - let me do that again, after proofreading and correcting typos!
Warning! - People who eat dog food may be right grammatically, but they may be deceased physically: I knew a man who ate dog food until it killed him - he got run over chasing a car!
Tuesday 26 January
By mgordon514
It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By JP
YES!!!! Tell everyone!!!! Every time I hear "I could care less" I can scarcely refrain from saying "So you DO care, at least a little, then, eh?" Thanks for this one mgordon514!
Tuesday 26 January
By mick
it can go either way, the problem is grammar nazis telling people what they meant when they don't know. i could care less if you rip this comment. in essence, i care very little, but technically it is possible for me to care less, it's just not very likely.
Tuesday 26 January
By Amanda
That drives me crazy as well. I hate when people say I could care less. Then that obviously means you care on some level.
Tuesday 26 January
By Linda S. Wells
mick...you're a moron!!! But, I couldn't care less...LOL!
Tuesday 26 January
By wolfy
The "Me vs I" bit drives me crazy, especially when they say things semi-correct, such as in the example of "Jerry watched me and Billy Joel eat fudge all afternoon." While the word "me" is used correctly, the sentence is written wrong! It should read "Jerry watched Billy Joel and me eat fudge all afternoon." When there are two or more nouns or pronouns in a sentence, such as this one, the "me" is always last! You wouldn't say "I and David went to town yesterday" either, whereas you would say "David and I went to town yesterday." It's just how you properly word things, and if it's not done right, it will continue to drive you up the wall, even if you are "grammatically correct!"
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By Stan Rhythm
The "Me vs I" bit drives me crazy, especially when they say things semi-correct[LY], [such] as in the example of "Jerry watched me and Billy Joe[l] eat fudge all afternoon." While the word "me" is used correctly, the sentence is written [INCORRECTLY] wrong! It should read "Jerry watched Billy Joel and me eat fudge all afternoon." When there are two or more nouns or pronouns in a sentence, such as this one, the "me" is always last! You wouldn't say "I and David went to town yesterday" either, whereas you would say "David and I went to town yesterday." It's just how you properly word things, and if it's not done [PROPERLY, CORRECTLY, ACCURATELY]right, it will continue to drive you up the wall, even if you are "grammatically correct!"
Tuesday 26 January
By Bruce
I'm glad you raised the issue of where to put 'me' in a sequence. It jolted me that in an article on grammar the writer missed it.
Tuesday 26 January
By A. Taylor
Thank you for the correction on that sentence. Perhaps the "teacher" needs a lesson in placing the proper nouns.
Tuesday 26 January
By Eugenia Walker
When I was a tot good manners were as important as proper speach. So, with good manners you would always want to put the other person(s) first and yourself last as though you were serving them at the table.
Tuesday 26 January
By rj
Blame "Me and Bobby McGee".
Tuesday 26 January
By cohencha
Technically, wasn't it incorrect for the writer to say that fudge isn't "healthy?" I believe it should be "healthful." Eating the fudge could make a person unhealthy.
Tuesday 26 January
By bludbawt
::sigh:: ...Oh, the rules up with which we have to put!
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By bps
When I was a tot good manners were as important as proper speach. So, with good manners you would always want to put the other person(s) first and yourself last as though you were serving them at the table.
When I was a tot, good manners were as imortant as proper speech. So, with good manners, you would always want to put the other person(s) first and yourself last, as though you were serving them at the table.
I find that improper grammer, as well as misspelling, are a huge pet peeve. But, I often find myself doing it.
Tuesday 26 January
By Andrea
Taking the time and care to use the language correctly reflects two attitudes: first, that we respect our readers/listeners enough to make their job easier deciphering our meaning and second, that we value precision and attention to detail. People who maintain that correct grammar does not matter don't know grammar (and hate to admit they don't know). By the way, it's taken me much time to compose this post because I do respect fellow posters. Have a nice day, everyone!
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By Annette
I love it! After reading e-mails and Facebook notes, I forget how a sentence should look! Thanks!
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By Andrea
Tom, if you're this funny early in the morning, you must be hilarious by afternoon. Thanks for the chuckle!
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By DGG
My pet peeve is the misuse of 'myself' - in recent years, it seems that folks have started mistakenly using it instead of 'me', as in 'myself and my friends went to the movies'. UGH! I hear it all the time on TV and it drives me crazy! Perhaps they think it sounds more formal, but it's just wrong.
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By DGG
Oops! Bad example, should have said using 'myself' instead of 'I' for that one, but you get the point! :o)