One Wisconsin prison inmate will just have to settle for Magic: The Gathering card games after being denied the God-given right to play Dungeons & Dragons in the slammer.

Kevin T. Singer, your average geek/convicted murderer, had been told that prison officials weren't going to allow any D&D behind bars over concerns about "gang-related activity." Apparently, prison officials are afraid of a bunch of nerds who would rather play board games than plot shower-time stabbings. But the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals agreed with the real-life Warden Samuel Norton that keeping inmates from having any nerdtastic good times while locked up is absolutely necessary.

As much as we believe America's prisons are hellholes run by soulless corporate greedheads, Mr. Singer -- who capped off an excellent 2002 by sledgehammering his sister's boyfriend to death in a botched robbery attempt -- seems like the kind of person who doesn't deserve his "constitutional rights" to involve a fantasy world in which swords and killing are part of the fun.

The officials were afraid of exactly that, stating in their court filing that D&D "promotes fantasy role playing, competitive hostility, violence, addictive escape behaviors and possible gambling."

Gambling, eh? Why didn't you mention that aspect of the competition before? Now this game is starting to sound more appealing.