Last night's "Jersey Shore" Look-a-Like Pageant was a success -- or a giant failure, depending on how you look at it. As a success, it was uncanny how well contestants resembled their reality star doppelgangers. As a failure, that means there are several people in the universe who look like the horrifying cast members.

Seven contestants introduced themselves, made up Jersey-like names, talked about how many Solo cups it took to get them into bed and showed off their talent (dancing like horny monkeys). While the scores were tallied, audience members were quizzed on relevant toughies such as "Who's the governor of New Jersey?" and "What is HPV?"

Second place went to the orange-colored gal with a white crop top and her butt cheeks hanging out, and first place went to the guy in the light-blue sweat jacket who incessantly sprayed himself with hair goo. He won $500. Mankind won nothing -- and possibly even lost everything. Sigh.





The Fist-Pumping Contest



Third-Place Winner for "Most 'Jersey Shore'"


Second-Place winner for "Most 'Jersey Shore'"


First-Place Winner for "Most 'Jersey Shore'"