Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert.

Aside from facial hair and hating Dave Navarro, Mustached Americans love nothing more than football.

Indeed, football in the United States is an essential part of our national fabric. Athletes are heroes to the young and old, and important games have become American traditions on par with apple pie, political polarization or driving while distracted (by cell phone).

The Super Bowl, set for this Sunday in Miami, has arguably become the pinnacle of America's sports calendar, a veritable sports holiday. But, is there a way to make it even better?

Indeed there is. The NFL should to move the Super Bowl to Saturday.

Yes, purists may argue it would be heretical to hold the Super Bowl on any day but Sunday, but it's hardly unprecedented to alter a sports tradition. The Super Bowl was once held in January. The World Series and NBA Finals were, for decades, daytime events. Major League Baseball added wild card teams to its playoffs. And the NFL just moved its Pro Bowl to the week before the Super Bowl for the first time since its inception.

A survey by the American Mustache Institute of its 2,000-plus members, nearly 80 percent said they would support moving the Super Bowl to Saturday.

There are both economic and social reasons supporting such a move.
  • If held on Saturday, Super Bowl parties would become grander events, with more non-sports fans in attendance, enjoying greater social interaction with their friends, because they would no longer have to work the next day.
  • Party hosts would buy more food and beverages to accommodate these grander proportions, thus benefiting grocery stores and other merchants.
  • If more non-football fans are watching, the networks gain more overall viewers, translating into their ability to charge more for advertising.
  • Restaurants and bars may have a steady flow of business on Sunday nights, but just imagine the immense traffic and revenues they'd reap from a truly Super Saturday.
  • Finally, we must consider the issue of productivity in the workplace. Employers won't have to deal with employees strolling in late for work because they partied a little too hard while watching the Super Bowl.

Much like holding a playoff for the NCAA college football national championship or bringing back the TV show "ALF," moving the Super Bowl to Saturday seems like such an obvious improvement that you wonder why it hasn't been done yet.
Join me in petitioning the National Football League to move the Super Bowl to Saturday HERE.


For Dr. Abraham J. Froman's mustache perspective, check in every Wednesday on Asylum.