A rose by any other name might smell as sweet; call it a "fartblossom," though, and you'll have a hard time getting somebody to sniff it.

With that in mind -- and with the Super Bowl coming up this weekend -- here's our list of the NFL's greatest monikers. Some are funny. Some are fitting. Some are scary. Here goes:

Best Name That Rhymes: Aqib Talib, CB, Tampa Bay

Best Name That Sounds Like Something Else: Ashton Youboty, CB, Buffalo

Least Manly NFL Name: Guy Whimper, T, Giants. Runner-up: Demarcus Faggins, CB, Detroit

Best First Name: Atari, as in Green Bay safety Atari Bigby. Runners-up: Ronde Barber (pictured), CB, Tampa Bay, and Frostee Rucker, DE, Cincinnati, whose mom coincidentally has been banned from ever again watching holiday cartoons.

Player Most Likely to Be Mistaken for a Chili's Menu Item: Scott Fujita, LB, New Orleans

Keep reading for best porn name, best sci-fi name and more.


Most Delicious: Jamaal Fudge, CB, Atlanta

Best NFL Porn Name: Lance Long, WR, Kansas City

Guy to Avoid Looking at in the Shower: Rudy Niswanger, C, Kansas City Best Name That Sounds Dirty but Isn't: Jerricho Cotchery, WR, Jets. Runners-up: Billy Cundiff (K, Baltimore), Hank Poteat (CB, Cleveland) and Sione Pouha (DT, Jets)

Best Girl's Name on an NFL Player: Melila Purcell, DE, Cleveland

Thurston Howell III Award for Snottiest Name: Kyle Vanden Bosch, DE, Tennessee

Nicest Name: Lousaka Polite, FB, Miami Most Sanctimonious: Maurice Purify, WR, Cincinnati. (He was a criminal justice major at Nebraska. Ironically, he was arrested twice while in college and in 2007 spent a week under house arrest for probation violations.) Best Player to Have a Drink With: Nick Hennessey, T, Buffalo. Lightweights should hang with Cincinnati TE Matt Sherry.

Best Name For NFL Success: Williams -- 50 players share that last name. There are 47 Johnsons, 37 Browns and 28 Smiths.

Guy Most Likely to Get Searched at the Airport: Husain Abdullah, S, Minnesota

Player Most Likely to Star in a "Sopranos" Spin-Off: Sabby Piscitelli, S, Tampa Bay

Our Favorite Player: Marlon Favorite, DT, New Orleans

Best Sci-Fi Name: DeJuan Tribble, CB, San Diego

Most Fun Name To Say: Olaniyi Sobomehin, RB New Orleans. Runner-up: Cory Lekkerkerker, T, Tennessee

Most Insignificant: Fred Smoot, CB, Washington. Runner-up: Keith Null, QB, St. Louis

Least Recognizable: Richie Incognito, G, Buffalo The "Who Would Name Their Kid That?" Award: Phillip Morris, WR, Tennessee

Most Unfortunate Pairing of NFL Teammates: Baltimore Ravens Suggs (Terrell, LB) and Koch (Sam, P) are the obvious choices here.