Feb 15th 2010 By Jeremy Taylor

Who Was Our Manliest President?

In many countries, President's Day is celebrated by throwing all living Presidents into a giant pit and rewarding the first one to emerge with the coveted title of "Greatest President Ever."

Actually, that's completely made up, but it would be kinda cool.

Anyway, in lieu of being able to offer a Commander in Chief death match, we would like to celebrate this holiday Monday by allowing you to exercise your democratic right to vote on which of our Presidents was the biggest badass.

Read on for a refresher on each of the nominated's manly accomplishments.

Which President Had The Most Manly Attributes?
Andrew Jackson -- "Old Hickory" was as unbending as a hickory stick	525 (16.9%)
Teddy Roosevelt -- spoke softly and carried a big stick	1574 (50.6%)
John F. Kennedy -- liked to stick it to the ladies	334 (10.7%)
George Washington -- probably invented the stick	516 (16.6%)
Another president -- tell us why in the comment section	162 (5.2%)

George Washington
The nation's first president is officially all of our daddies, and this NSFW video pretty much sums up his immortal badassery.

Why he's not: Apparently quite vein about his appearance, and, of course, wore a dainty looking wig.

Andrew Jackson
Before becoming president, he killed a man in a duel after allowing his opponent first shot and taking one in the chest. During his inauguration, Jackson opened the White House to the public -- because that's just how AJ rolled -- and it basically became the greatest, rowdiest keg party ever.

Why he's not: His administration was crippled by gossip, of all things.

Teddy Roosevelt
The barrel-chested, cattle ranching, rough riding, trust buster was once shot in the torso right before giving a speech. Roosevelt still gave the speech.

Why he's not: He's the only president to have a cuddly stuffed animal toy named after him.

John F. Kennedy
JFK was a best selling author by 23 and a war hero by 26. Then he became the youngest president ever elected into office -- taking his just reward with many a beautiful woman along the way

Why he's not: Although it was hidden from the public, Kennedy was sicklier than even the wet-nosed, diabetic, asthmatic kid you used to make fun of in elementary school.

Tags: Andrew Jackson - AndrewJackson - George Washington - GeorgeWashington - John F. Kennedy - JohnF.Kennedy - Manliest President - ManliestPresident - Presidents Day - PresidentsDay - Teddy Roosevelt - TeddyRoosevelt - Toughest President - ToughestPresident

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Monday 15 February

By Joseph Gustafson

Highest Rank

Correct answer: Ronald Reagan

-Brought down the berlin wall with one punch
-Fixed the economy with a single wink
-While other human beings are composed mostly of water, he was composed of a mixture of testosterone and whiskey.
-Made Russia his "boy" (if you know what I mean)

Monday 15 February

By Ralph

Neutral

AMEN.

T.R. and R.R.

Monday 15 February

By dale k.

Neutral

Mr. Reagan no doubt. i believe our nation is longing for another one. although this time it will probably be female. today's male politicians for the most part are definitely not even a shell of the man Mr. Reagan was or the masculinity and confidence he exuded. DK

Tuesday 16 February

By B.lottke

Neutral

Harry S. Truman was the manliest president in my lifetime. He faced the prospect of having to use the A-bomb on Japan and took no crap from anyone. He was the only Democrat that I can say I truely admired.

Tuesday 16 February

By John

Neutral

Absolutely the Gipper. He had cancer and was shot and you couldn't take him down!

Tuesday 16 February

By angelo

Neutral

Ronald Reagan for all of the previously mentioned reasons AND thefact that Chuck Norris respected and admired him! What better reason could you need?

Monday 15 February

By Geoffrey Rose

Neutral

Actually, Teddy Roosevelt was known for being extraordinarily effeminate during his time as a New York state senator and was teased by his colleagues as "Oscar Wilde." See: Gail Bederman's "Manliness and Civilization" - she (tongue in cheek or not) refers to him as our first transgendered president.

My vote is for Andrew Jackson.

Tuesday 16 February

By Jutsy

Neutral

Andrew Jackson is, of course, the right answer. He commanded the Battle of New Orleans against staggering odds, when it was a strategic city, and not just a rally point for feel-good optimism. And how can anyone be manlier than a President who claimed his one regret in life was not having his own Vice President hanged?

Monday 15 February

By Dr. Abraham Jonas Froman

Neutral

Clearly, the manliest president ever was Chester A. Arthur, the first U.S. dictator to wear a stand-alone labia sebucula (Latin for "lip sweater").

A great Mustached American indeed.

Carry on.

Dr. Abraham Jonas Froman
Chief Executive Officer
The American Mustache Institute
www.AmericanMustacheInstitute.org
877-STACHE-1
info@AmericanMustacheInstitute.org

Monday 15 February

By Kelly

Neutral

I think Ronald Reagan is most manlist President ever come on what his best friend were CHuck Heston John Wayne Dean MArtin COME ON

Monday 15 February

By GeekyGirl

Neutral

President George Washington personally commanded and fought in Revolutionary War, and WON America's freedom. He had an intelligence network that would put today's CIA to shame even with all their technology. He won the heart of a very tough lady (Martha Custis) who ran her Estate herself. I say, our First Couple still rock.

Monday 15 February

By Dr. Jan Itor

Neutral

Thomas Jefferson.

#1- Wrote the Declaration of Independence, The most badass document of all time.

#2 JFK held a dinner for 49 nobel prize winners and he said "...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone."

#3 Won the Barbary War

#4 Was subpoenaed by the supreme court. He ignored it.

#5 Had Asperger's and still pwned everything and everyone. (though aspergers sometimes shows with symptoms of above average intelligence)

#6 Thoroughly believed in revolution to make changes. Believed non-violent revolution was necessary to keep government in check and keep the people in power.

Tuesday 16 February

By dr. sausage

Neutral

jefferson had sally hemmings, a brass ankle slave girl, for his personal pleasure.her desendants were skulking about recently to get his d.n.a. the good old boy had soul.

Monday 15 February

By ctaylor

Neutral

Ronald Reagan hands down.

Tuesday 16 February

By JJ

Neutral

I think those who voted for RR forgot one crucial fact...HE'S AN ACTOR. Reagan intelligently shrouded his thorough senility by acting tough in front of a camera (a stretch for a man known for westerns), and ACTED like a president by reading scripts and wagging his finger at probably the easiest commie target any pres at that point had to deal with as gorby was desperately trying to bail out of the USSR anyways! Not to mention his clever selection of a V.P. (an ornery trigger happy texan) who didn't mind biding his time behind the old coot knowing full well that his brain was controlling the other's legacy.

here's the better answer.

1. at 22, after years of dealing with family bullshit like famine, death, and religious persecution by proxy (his dad was a bible thumper, this guy was agnostic) he left and canoed down a river solo to make a name for himself.

2. he had 18 months of formal education. a year and a half of classroom exercises and the rest was self-taught, real world experience.

3. He was renowned for his ability to wield an axe, and was a champion wrestler (chicks dig scars, and make for tougher world leaders).

4. He was a captain of a militia, fighting Indians because, back in the rural western us, that's just what you did.

5. He dealt with the civil war, which percentagewise was the most catastrauphic loss of american lives in any conflict. His quotes and speeches rallied a nation against some assbackwards thinking, forcing lazy people to get off their porches, put down their whips, and work for their money. During this time, he had more power than any other president, past or future, which he flung around like an aerodynamic midget, doing what was necessary in order to have his way.

6. More people know the first line of the Gettysburg Address than any other famous American political document. Fact.

7. That I don't need to mention his name further solidifies his status as the toughest president we ever had. And he had a beard, like all great leaders do. I'd say God bless him, but that was not his style.

Tuesday 16 February

By red

Neutral

Best Answer Ever.

Tuesday 16 February

By The Dradle

Neutral

RR was an ACTOR! He read scripts and pretended to be tough, and his whole 'tear down this wall' nonsense was going to happen anyways, gorby was such a sissy red.

It's Lincoln. He was oppressed in his own house growing up so he left by canoeing solo down a river, had only 18 months of formal education, was a champion wrestler and had impeccable axe skills.

He was a captain of the Missouri militia, and when he became president he knowingly stepped into the messiest situation this country ever saw...has ever seen.

His quotes and speeches are more famous than any other American political document, with all due respect to Jefferson and the others if you ask an average American kid who wrote what they likely couldn't tell you, but they know who spoke at the Gettysburg address.

Our nation acknowledged and honored his brilliance by placing his face on the side of a hill, a penny, and a five dollar bill.

The only person with a more rugged beard in the history of humanity is chuck norris.