At Asylum, we are men of great passions. Two of the most prominent? Girls and metal.

For decades, the primary way these two things we love were combined was when metal bands would yell things like, "Let's get those T-shirts off, ladies!" and we'd get to enjoy awesome music and bare breasts simultaneously for a brief, glorious moment. And that was sufficient, in times past.

Now, however, as a mature and enlightened man, we are made uncomfortable by such tawdry exploitation. So the trend of the all-girl metal-tribute band is one that we've embraced wholeheartedly.

It's the best of both worlds: We still get to hear "Seek and Destroy," but we're also able to form healthy crushes on the girls playing it.

Asylum recently spoke with Teddi Tarnoff, who performs in the Metallica tribute band Misstallica as bassist "Clit Burton" (R.I.P., bro), and we're better for it. We also hit up two other luminaries of the all-girl-tribute-band world. We did this, basically, so we'd have an excuse to talk to women who play metal.


Misstallica
Their story: Misstallica formed at the Paul Green School of Rock Music (the inspiration for the Jack Black movie "School of Rock"). Tarnoff and vocalist Gina Randozza ("Vajay-James Hetfield") had climbed the ranks from students to teachers, and they recruited some of their pupils. "School of Rock is so much like being in a band, whether you're the student or the teacher," Tarnoff explains, "There was never really much of a transition."

Their style: "We each try and stick as close to what 'our Metallica guy' would wear," she says, explaining that typically means that "it's a lot of Misfits T-shirts," along with black jeans and motorcycle boots. Gina wears the trademark James Hetfield sweatbands, but the group's Lars, she stresses, "does not play topless."

The fan reaction: "We get a lot of that 'I came here to see if y'all are any good, let's see what you got' attitude," Tarnoff tells us, "Whether it's because they think they need to protect Metallica's good name or it's just macho B.S." So how do they do? "Nothing is as good as seeing old-school [1985] Metallica," she says, "But we do get the crowd rowdy."


Lez Zeppelin
Their story: Steph Paynes, the Led Zeppelin tribute's Jimmy Page stand-in, tells Asylum that she "had never even heard of tribute bands" when she put the group together in 2003–2004. "I simply wanted to play the music of Led Zeppelin." The band has gone on to become one of the leading lights of the all-girl-tribute-band world: They've enjoyed appearances at festivals like Bonnaroo and cut an album with Eddie Kramer (whose producing and engineering credits include six of the original Led Zeppelin albums).

Their style: Lez Zeppelin play it a little looser than the girls in Misstallica or some of the other bands, in terms of the costumes -- we've (mercifully) never seen Robert Plant strapped into a corset for a gig, but the vocalist for Lez Zeppelin's been known to belt out "Whole Lotta Love" while wearing one. Both groups are known for feathery, fringe-y outerwear, though, and Paynes isn't afraid to take a violin bow to her guitar when the show calls for it.

The fan reaction: Paynes is aware of how strongly audiences respond to Lez Zeppelin, but she may not have been fully prepared for it when the band started. "What I didn't realize at first was the intense effect that having four sensual women onstage playing this kind of heavy and complex music would engender."


Mistress of Reality
Their story: Like Misstallica, the Black Sabbath cover band Mistress of Reality was formed when its Ozzy, Paulette Adamec ("Izzy Osbourne"), was teaching at a music school. "We all thought that a cover band was a cheesy idea," she says, "But a tribute like this is different. We picked Sabbath because they're the godfathers of heavy metal."

Their style: The women of Mistress of Reality don't mimic Sabbath's look; there are no fake mustaches on any of the members, and they opt for short skirts and heavy cleavage in their goth-y outfits. But Adamec insists that, while the costumes are more "Sabbath-inspired" than actual Sabbath, the stage presence is exact: "When I'm on stage, people are getting things spit on them."

The fan reaction: Adamec demures when we ask her if Mistress of Reality is better than the most recent touring lineup of Black Sabbath -- "That's not really a fair question," she insists -- but she offers the fact that the band has toured multiple continents as proof that they're doing something right. "It's definitely the best Black Sabbath experience you're capable of seeing in 2010."