While those staged fights you see on television have their entertaining moments, there's something especially awesome about a full-blown, all-out brawl between two guys who are so buff they look like they swallow babies for breakfast.

We recently sat down with Cory Mahon, a badass, professional cagefighter who hails from central Indiana with a self-described "aggressive personality."

"Basically," says Mahon, "fighters are pretty delusional. Tito Ortiz, former UFC light heavyweight champ, once said, 'If fighters weren't crazy, we'd go insane.'"

Mahon then filled us in on the exact brand of self-delusion involved in each phase of the fight:

Stage 1: Training Camp, aka "I'm the best"
During the training leading up to a fight, the fighter works extremely hard. He naturally assumes that all others who are training are half-assing it. This makes the fighter feel like the hardest-working, most dominant fighter ever. This "I'm the best" mentality occurs no matter how hard anyone else is actually working.

Stage 2: Cutting Weight, aka "Everything in the World Sucks"
Nobody enjoys cutting weight. This hatred for fitting into a certain weight class causes the fighter (me, in this case) to act very much like a petulant child. That's because nothing is ever enough to make me happy, aside from a giant meal paired with at least one gallon of water. That, unfortunately, would be counter-productive to the whole cutting-weight thing.

Stage 3: Weigh-Ins, aka "I Was Waaaaay Bigger Than That Guy"
At weigh-ins you always think you look bigger than your opponent. It is also common to believe your opponent looks scared or frightened of your dominant physique. I will admit that it's entirely possible your opponent thinks the same way about you.

Stage 4: Standing Across in the Cage, aka "I Don't Get Paid Enough for This"
Right before the fight you've been waiting for, when you are standing across from your opponent, you come to realize that you're actually not any bigger than he is. In fact, you're pretty sure that he's way bigger than you. You also notice that he doesn't look scared at all. In fact, he looks pretty intimidating. When that happens, that shiny paycheck doesn't look as nice as it once did.

Stage 5: Victory, aka "Of Course I Won"
After you win a fight, you act like there never should have been any doubt about who was going to win. This, of course, happens despite the fact that you mentally beat yourself up mere moments before.