In the Philippines, a poor karaoke performance can get you killed. The leading source of karaoke-related deaths in the reportedly violent Philippine culture is off-key or arrogant renditions of a famous Frank Sinatra tune. Ironically, that song is "My Way."

Surprised and a bit disturbed by this, Asylum set out to find accounts of karaoke-related violence here in the United States. It turns out that for the most part, Americans are a civil bunch of karaoke-rs. But don't be fooled -- this doesn't mean that karaoke-goers here in the U.S. are any good. You all know who you are.

So we asked karaoke bar keepers across the U.S. a different question: What are the most poorly performed karaoke songs?

Respondents met the question with a bit of laughter and some disdain for all of you out there who botch lyrics, screech into microphones and make everyone wish you would remove yourself from the stage.

Keep reading to find out how karaoke bars weighed in on the worst offenders.


"Lady" -- Styx
"One of the worst here is 'Lady,'" says Stacy at Carson's Sports Bar & Restaurant in St. Louis. "We got a guy here who butchers a song every five minutes or so, but it's all in good fun." Unless you ruin "Lady," that is.

"Picture" -- Kid Rock (with Sheryl Crow)
"People often botch duets here," laments Toni at Santisi Brothers in Phoenix. "People just can't sing that song 'Picture' at all."

"Baby Got Back" -- Sir Mix-a-Lot
"People are always doing the butt motions that go with the song, and they just shouldn't be doing that," says Candice from Ego's Lounge in Austin, Texas. If you didn't peg Austin as a place where "Baby Got Back" would crack a karaoke list, that makes at least two of us.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" -- Queen
"We always get people head banging as if they're in 'Wayne's World,' and they just look foolish," says Candice.

"Me and Bobby McGee" -- Janis Joplin
"It's usually the ladies who screw it up," says Cindy at Jumbo's Bar in Detroit.

Anything by Led Zeppelin and U2
"I can't even pick specific songs by Led Zeppelin -- pretty much any of them get screwed up," says Cindy at Jumbo's.

"Anything by U2 is always bad," says Mike at The Grisly Pear in New York.

The Bono wannabes and the really grisly guy who wore down Cindy by whining the lyrics to "D'yer Mak'er" and "Tangerine" -- why don't you guys take a play off.

"Sweet Caroline" -- Neil Diamond
"This is one of the worst," says Stacy. "Plain and simple." "Sweet Caroline" is also one of those songs that bar patrons will single karaoke-style at any bar, wedding or Red Sox home game. Somewhere, led by a Yankees fan, a "People Against 'Sweet Caroline'" action committee is forming.

"Livin' on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi
"It seems that every Friday or Saturday night," says Mike, "at around 2 a.m., someone with about 10 beers too many will get up there, mumble through the song, and nearly fall off the stage." It's probably the same guy from New Jersey every week. Actually, yes, it definitely is.

"Don't Stop Believin'" -- Journey
"Hands down, the worst is 'Don't Stop Believin'," says Candice, who turned to Ego's patrons for confirmation. They confirmed.

"Nobody can seem to pull off 'Don't Stop Believin''' says Toni. "Things tend to go wrong when it gets to the high notes. We don't boo here, but people won't clap for a bad performance and the feeling is 'Thank God that's over.'"

And confirming what appears to be karaoke's kryptonite, Miranda from The Gaslite in Santa Monica, Calif., tells Asylum, "Hands down, it's 'Don't Stop Believin'. Something usually goes wrong when people get up and sing that song."

So to all those small town girls and city boys who can't hit the notes out there, you keep on doing your thing. Just know that everyone can't wait for you to get off stage.