Using his preteen alter ego, "Little Billy," author Bill Geerhart wrote to both the famous (Egg McMuffin lover, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas) and the infamous (convicted murderer Charles Manson) -- and received replies from many of them.

The faux 10-year-old also struck up correspondence with Donald Rumsfeld, Oprah Winfrey and Tori Spelling, who each wrote back, offering such thoughtful advice as "stay in school." The greatest hits have been collected in the new book, "Little Billy's Letters," on sale now.

Asylum asked the fully grown Geerhart to write a few similar open letters on our behalf. Click through to see Little Billy's exclusive messages to Tiger Woods, Kourtney Kardashian and Dr. Neil Clark Warren of the eHarmony dating site.

LETTER 1: Little Billy reaches out to sex addict Tiger Woods.



LETTER 2: Little Billy writes to Dr. Warren about the "smelly men" his mom is meeting on eHarmony.




LETTER 3: Little Billy discusses a career change with Kourtney Kardashian.