It was once the norm that men either dated women roughly their own age or, if not, younger women. (And if it was the latter, their friends would slap them on the back and say, "You old dog!")However, in the era of MILFs and cougars, it is becoming socially acceptable for just about anyone over the age of 18 to date just about anyone else over 18.
In fact, after crunching a lot of numbers, the folks at OkTrends, the blog for the dating site OkCupid, have come to the conclusion that guys might be better off dating older women.
This contradiction between tradition and a bunch of fancy-looking, data-driven graphs has left us confused. So we want to know what you think the ideal age difference is in a relationship. Read on for the pros and cons of robbing the cradle or being robbed from your cradle.
| Much older man -- eight or more years | |
|---|---|
| Slightly older man -- three to seven years | |
| About the same -- zero to two years | |
| Slightly older woman -- three to seven years | |
| Much older woman -- eight or more years |
Older Man/Younger WomanPro: For the most part, men are more financially secure when they are older, whereas women are better-looking when they are younger. History suggests wealthy men and good-looking women are attracted to each other.
Con: There were probably quite a few guys in their 30s and 40s who felt like they had taken a wrong turn somewhere in their life when they were forced to explain the significance of Corey Haim to their 20-something girlfriends.
Roughly the same agePro: It makes sense that folks around the same age would have an easier time relating to one another. Also, with the average age spread between married couples at a little less than two years, it makes it easier socially to have a partner around your age.
Con: When both people in a relationship are of similar ages, nobody is working out any parental issues. What's the fun of that?
Older Woman/Younger ManPro: As mentioned, OkCupid drew up a lot of pretty-looking graphs that suggest guys should go for older women. But we'll sum up their conclusion right here: Older women like to get it on.
Con: If you want to find a relationship that eventually bears children, there are biological reasons you should stay away from older women. Also, our poster couple for this type of relationship is no longer together. Though we should admit that Ms. Sarandon is now dating a 31-year-old ping-pong-bar owner, freeing Tim Robbins up to explore his inner Michael Douglas. So to spare yourself the indignity of being replaced by a spry young table-tennis tycoon, stay away from the cougars.
Do you have any personal experience with a May-December relationship that did or did not work out? Let us know in the comments.


























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Comments:
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Wednesday 17 March
By mike
My wife is 6 years older than me we have been tgether for 25 years and are happier now than ever, I dont think age make a difference I really believe its the couple.
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Wednesday 17 March
By Jodi
It's so hard nowadays to find that Mr/Ms Right and the way I look at it if there is an age difference so what..When you have two consenting adults that is what matters. I've always been attracted to younger guys n most of my friends are younger than me, but so what? I have 2 best friends who are guys (younger than me) n we get along great...so like I say..AGE IS JUST A NUMBER n it's what the couple have in common with one another and of course LOVE N FRIENDSHIP n RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER...if that should lead to love for anyone, DON'T LET IT PASS YOU BY...
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Wednesday 17 March
By amotisi
The age difference for a guy depends on how much money you have the more money the younger the women you have to choose from. This Cougar thing was invented by a bunch of old devorced hags with lots of money that they screwed some old guy of when they were young.If you have a thing for women dipped in Botox date a women over 40 .
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Wednesday 17 March
By Debbie fein
I agree with you totally. I have a scumbag of a male cousin (age 58) who only took/takes Iman (female age 32) to bed twice a week. He is not serious with her, yet on December 11, 2009 he knew his daughter (age 26) would be having dinner with her mom (his ex of 19 years) at a restaurant where he lives and his ex-lives and walked into the restaurant with Iman and was rude to his daughter and then sat down at another table while his daughter watched him cozy up to Iman. And when we met for dinner the following week he bragged to me about the restaurant incident and how his ex was upset for their daughter because the ex mouthed the words to my scumbag cousin "you came in here with Iman". He and I had some fight about what he did to his daughter. I told him I hope Iman leaves him penniless - HE IS SO RICH AND POWERFUL. I THINK IMAN MIGHT BE A PROSTITUTE, BUT STILL.
And the thing is his oldest brother just lost his daughter to a fatal illness so you would think he would do everything in his power to be close to his kids.
AND MY OPINION ANYONE WHO DATES PEOPLE OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR FATHER/MOTHER IS LOOKING FOR A FATHER/MOTHER FIGURE.
Wednesday 17 March
By eric
I have been married to a woman 5 years older than me,lasted 7 years, and one 11 years younger,lasted 4, The first one we just decided we just didnt get along and maybe were better moving on and the second just wouldnt stop hitting me when she got mad. However i am currently with a woman 2 years younger than me and all i can say so far is perfect!!
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Wednesday 17 March
By Ernest
There was 22 years difference between Mom and Dad. They were married for 35 years a first and only marriage for both of them until Dad's death at the age of 82. I came along when Dad was 47 and my brother when Dad was 52. Mom said she told Dad that there were 2 rules; never hit her, and if he came in the front door drinking she was going out the back and and not coming back. He never did either. Together through lean times and Mom was holding his hand when he died. Now they are both together again. Love you both Mom and Dad.
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Wednesday 17 March
By Fran Crowley
I am 6.5 years older than my husband of 25 years. Once you get thru your early twenties, age doesn't really matter. Wealth, physical and mental fitness, can change quickly regardless of age. If you are marrying for the right reasons, love and partnership, age doesn't matter.
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Wednesday 17 March
By Julie
I am 22 yrs older than my boyfriend and we have a great relatinship- probably because I am very fit (no surgery, thank you) and we have a lot of interests and values in common. We have been together two yrs and don't plan to quit anytime soon :)
And yes, the sex is incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday 17 March
By Julie
And BTW.... sorry for the typo on the word "relationship"- I am NOT illiterate! I am a doctor and he is a construction worker- a total alpha male so he knows how to take care of a woman and make her feel safe and secure. Just what every woman wants and needs!
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Wednesday 17 March
By masanddjs
I am 2 years older than my husband. We've been married 36 years and are happier than ever. We've grown up together, and now our kids are grown and gone and we have a WONDERFUL time alone in our house. We are best friends and neither of us can imagine not being with the other one. All marriages have ups and downs, ours sure has, but we weathered the storms and it was well worth it.
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Wednesday 17 March
By Ann
My husband is 16 years older than I am and we've been married over 20 years. There are some disadvantages more because he's more European and I'm more American but his having kids at an older age has kept him young both physically and mentally. He looks great with amazing muscle tone. His gray hair is the only telltale sign of our age difference (but that's also because I color mine). For those who are wondering, no he does not use viagra- he is just fine in that department too. I never thought I'd marry someone that much older but the young guys I was meeting were too immature and were afraid of commitment. My husband's intentions were clear from the beginning. He wanted to get remarried (he was widowed) and enjoy family life - no games - no nonsense.
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Wednesday 17 March
By Sekinu2
Well from a guys point a woman slightly older might be best as it seems most women are less mature emotionally then men and slower to mature. Women also tend to wander more if they do become serious when younger then blame the older guy since they didnt get to expirement when younger. Its best to find a woman who understands reality and not mad because they are immature mentally and in a real relationship
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Wednesday 17 March
By Ann
Isn't it the other way around?
Wednesday 17 March
By DEBRA SAMS
I think its more a matter of life experience than age. My first husband was 2 years younger than me but left for someone 15 years younger than me. My second husband is 9 years younger, but he also was cheated on by his previous wife. He and I have been together now almost 15 years and are still very much in love. There is a tremendous amount of respect for one anothers needs and feelings which i think makes for a strong marriage.
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Wednesday 17 March
By frtmyrsmike
It also seems that a large age difference will mean that much of an earlier widowhood for the younger spouse when the couple grows old, given that the average maximum life span is about 80 years.
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Wednesday 17 March
By Desarae
I am 18 and my boyfriend is also. we have been together since elementary school. Its great for us and we really are perfect for each other. I skipped my junior year and got to graduate from high school early so its great being able to have the experience and help him out with the stress of it too. You guys are right about the maturity levels being different but between him and i its not that for between. He definitely requires some work but so do all relationships. But i dont think there is an ideal age difference.
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Wednesday 17 March
By GARY SHEPHERD
I WAS MARRIED 27 YEARS AND UNFORNUNATELY IT FAILED! WE WERE ONLY 2 YEARS APART IN AGE! I HAVE SINCE MET A YOUNG LADY THAT WAS SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH ME FOR A WHILE AND I NEVER KNEW! WHEN SHE FOUND OUT I WAS TAKING A EARLY RETIREMENT SHE CAME RIGHT OUT AND TOLD ME FOR FEAR OF NEVER SEEING ME AGAIN! SHES 25 AND IM 52! WE GET ALONG GREAT AND CANT GET ENOUGH OF EACHOTHER! SHE STILL DOESNT KNOW ABOUT MY SMART INVESTMENTS AND LOTTERY WINNINGS! SO I KNOW ITS NOT FOR MONEY! I WAS ALSO HER FIRST! IVE SET A DATE TO TELL HER ABOUT MY WEALTH TO MAKE SURE ITS FOR REAL! FOR 52 IM STILL VERY STRONG AND THE STAMINA IS OUT OF THIS WORLD! I TOOK CARE OF MY SELF ALL MY LIFE AND NEVER ABUSE WHAT I HAVE! SHE IS A VERY SMART LADY AND SHE ALLWAYS CALLS ME JUST TO TALK WHEN IM NOT THERE AND SHE BUYS ME FLOWERS TOO! WOW!! WHAT A DIFFERENCE!I SPOIL HER AND SHE SPOILS ME AND WE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING , WE DONT HOLD BACK! ITS ALLMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! BUT I TOTALLY ACCEPTED IT! LOL! EVEN THOUGH SHE IS 27 YEARS MY JUNIOR IT DOESNT MATTER TO HER OR ME !SHES A LADY ! AGE IS JUST A NUMBER BUT LOVE AND FRENDSHIP IS FOREVER!!!
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Wednesday 17 March
By JD
Just an FYI: If the man "looks" older than the woman, even if he is younger (as in the case of Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, pictured), then it doesn't count. Or the other way around for that matter.
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Wednesday 17 March
By GARY SHEPHERD
OH, AND DONT LET YOUR CHILDREN GET IN THE WAY OF THE AGE DIFFERENCE! MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER IS 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER AND MY OLDEST DAUGHTER IS 5 YEARS OLDER THAN HER! MY YOUNGEST HAS A PROBLEM WITH IT BUT MY OLDEST DAUGHTER JUST GOES.....YOU GO POPS!!!!!!!!!!LOL! HOPEFULLY MY YOUNGEST COMES AROUND AND LEARNS TO UNDERSTAND! SHELL NEVER BE HER MOTHER BUT SHE WILL ALLWAYS BE A GREAT FREIND TO HER AND KNOWING THAT HER DAD IS HAPPY IS ALL THAT MATTERS TOO ME! THATS ALL I CAN ASK FROM HER IS UNDERSTANDING!
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Wednesday 17 March
By katlady7
Two of my aunts were married before age 20 to men five or so years older than they were.....and both marriages ended in divorce. After a series of relationships that didn't work out, BOTH ended up married to men 20 years younger.
It should be noted that both my aunts are very strong women who had lived on their own for several years before they met their life partners. Both were financially stable and fully capable of continuing to live on their own. Neither went looking for a younger partner. They initially resisted the idea of marriage to ANYONE, let alone to someone that much younger. However, these were not "typical" men, of any generation. They had IQ's of 180+, an unwillingness to accept the status quo, and a maturity level far beyond their years -- all of which tended to isolate them from the silliness and irresponsibility of their "If it feels good, do it" generation.
On the other hand, the majority of men of my aunts' generation couldn't handle the reality of a fully independant, functioning adult with boobs. Neither of these women needed the feminist movement to liberate themselves. Their father's love and respect for his daughters' intelligence and talent, lousey first husbands and their own motivation to succeed on their own terms is what liberated them. They (and others like them)were the true vanguard of the woman's movement -- out there slogging away in the trenches and living the reality of "liberation". They didn't have time to burn their bras. But they would not/could not submit to "traditional" relationships, either.
My aunts are in their 70's now and show no signs of retiring from life.... and their marriages are just as vibrant as they are. Clearly, age is a state of mind and heart.
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