If you've been sitting around wishing the folks at Amazon would finally get off their lazy behinds and start selling products that facilitate potentially damaging oral sex, then today is your lucky day.

Comfortably Numb, the spearmint-flavored deep-throat spray, costs under $9 per bottle and can help you or a loved one desensitize the discomfort associated with loveless, porn-style fellatio.

The brief description of the product also notes the spray is discreet enough to carry with you anywhere. (You know, just in case you're on the road and you feel some self-esteem building up that needs to be shattered but can't commit to doing it without topical spray.)

As an added bonus, it's a breath freshener, so when you're done no one's going to be all "Hey, who has penis breath?" According to reviews, however, the product is a bit of a mixed bag: Whereas one user loved it, another lamented that there was no promised numbing effect, and thus nothing got deeper than planned. Man, that sucks.