Tracy Quan former call girlWhether you're a paying guest or boyfriend material, call-girl country is tricky to navigate.

According to Tracy Quan -- a former escort who wrote about this upside-down world in her bestselling novel, "Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl" -- the best way to make a call girl think you're special is to respect her mystery. There will always be things only a client needs to know. Then again ... there are things clients just don't need to know.

Read on for Tracy's top phrases, questions and statements to avoid blurting out in your next encounter with a working girl. (Hint #1: Discreet words like "provider," "companion" and "escort" are preferable to the two-letter word that starts with "h.")

10. "What's your REAL name?" Some escorts use a real name, but we might pretend it's a working name just to keep a client guessing. If you keep asking, you look like a stalker -- or maybe a cop.

9. "How much do you get for a session?" Unless you're a client, this brands you as a looky-loo.

8. "Is your best friend/roommate/cousin/sister Janet also a call girl?" Why don't you ask my best friend/roommate/cousin/sister Janet if she turns tricks for a living? Go on, I dare you.

7. "I've never paid for sex." If it comes up during normal conversation, fine, but don't use it to score a point. Until you've actually been paid for sex, you're a civilian.


6. "Do you hate men?" A creepy stereotype, not an icebreaker -- and no, it doesn't make you sound "sensitive" to our emotional issues.

5. "Does your family know everything about you?" You mean, all there is to know about me is how I earn a living?

4. "You're very articulate." Not as flattering as you might think.

3. "I don't have to wear that, do I?" We can put on the condom in our sleep, and there's no excuse we haven't heard, so don't try to bamboozle us.

2. "You don't look like a call girl." We've heard this a lot.

1. "I have this friend who's a lap dancer ..." Don't assume we want to hear stories about your dancer habit. Call girls and dancers have been compared to Bloods and Crips by wiser men than you.

Tracy's latest installment of her Nancy Chan trilogy, "Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl," is out in paperback.