Apr 16th 2010 By Brian Fairbanks
He hath risen.
Well, probably not in the biblical sense, but a painting depicting the crucifixion of Jesus, which hangs in Warr Acres, Okla., seems to indicate Jesus indeed had a rising ... in his pants.
As you can see in the picture here, Jesus appears to have, for some inexplicable reason, a giant penis. Considering the artwork is approximately 10 feet tall, that would make this an almost foot-long wiener.
Of course, the parishioners of St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church -- and pretty much every other Christian -- have a problem with it: "I think it's an embarrassment to our Lord," one longtime churchgoer told the local news station. "I think it's an embarrassment to our parishioners. And I think it's an embarrassment to our visitors."
Interestingly enough, instead of admitting that a giant penis is depicted in the painting, the local archdiocese, the church's leader and even the artist himself are denying that's what's being pictured here.
Father Phillip Seeton says that it's actually showing abdominal distension, probably caused by Christ's many hardships in the name of God.
What do you think? (Hint: It's definitely a penis.)