He hath risen.Well, probably not in the biblical sense, but a painting depicting the crucifixion of Jesus, which hangs in Warr Acres, Okla., seems to indicate Jesus indeed had a rising ... in his pants.
As you can see in the picture here, Jesus appears to have, for some inexplicable reason, a giant penis. Considering the artwork is approximately 10 feet tall, that would make this an almost foot-long wiener.
Of course, the parishioners of St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church -- and pretty much every other Christian -- have a problem with it: "I think it's an embarrassment to our Lord," one longtime churchgoer told the local news station. "I think it's an embarrassment to our parishioners. And I think it's an embarrassment to our visitors."
Interestingly enough, instead of admitting that a giant penis is depicted in the painting, the local archdiocese, the church's leader and even the artist himself are denying that's what's being pictured here.
Father Phillip Seeton says that it's actually showing abdominal distension, probably caused by Christ's many hardships in the name of God.
What do you think? (Hint: It's definitely a penis.)


























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Comments:
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Friday 16 April
By bb
You know how sometimes in life you run across something that is so wrong, so unmentionable, and so depraved that only a reprobate would actually cross the line and examine it deeper. Yeah, this is one of those moments. Congrats Asylum.
Reply
Friday 16 April
By Dave Mason
Examine it deeper? Now, they just reported on it. YOU did that.
Saturday 17 April
By Truth
Concerning the reporting despicable things, pretending they aren't there, allows them to continue unabated. The reporting of those troubling worldly things, puts light on those things for others to Judge, making known the truth of what is going on in the world around us. It is the knowing which allows us to make decisions about what we have learned. It is a form of checks and balances of what we accept, tolerate, or protest, what we want in our world. Judging is part of the decision process we use everyday. Biblically, "judge not lest ye be judged," is often taken out of context, and does not mean "don't judge." The meaning informs one that when you judge someone, be prepared, as you are subjected to be judge in return, and weather you are judging fairly. They say 'Who are you to Judge?", in an attempt to cause acceptance through conviction of the judge, usually a loved one. Well, We are the people you sought judgment from, by asking us, or by doing something in public that affects others. So keep reporting, that we will know what is going on in the world and how we may be affected by it.
Saturday 17 April
By bb
Nice try Dave. Your subjective semantics and logic are as useless as football bat. YOU know what I meant.
Reply
Saturday 17 April
By Dave Mason
Just to clarify, what you're saying is that it's Asylum's fault that they're reporting on it? Because there's not a lot of "examining it deeper" here. It's pretty short and it basically covers the facts.
Should news outlets NOT report news that's depraved? What about 9/11? Or a child-molesting teacher?
Also, a football bat? Now THAT would be something useful... unlike your comment. Imagine having a bat to play football with... knock down field goals... trip a running back... brilliant.
Saturday 17 April
By Truth
Wow' This is "Truth in Light", in every sense of the word, a sign of what is really on the collective mind of the Roman Catholic church. A devout man would not have accepted the painting, and gave the painter and ear full for his blatant mockery of Christ. What a conversation piece for young altar boys to discuss, as the priest uses it a tool to convince them Gay sex is a wonderful expression of Love; Sadistic love. This is why graven images and idols are forbidden. Excuse me while I pick my JAW off the floor.
Reply
Saturday 17 April
By bolt
can you imagine how the muslim world would react to something like this... seriously, it would set that world on FIRE! i luv how these art-types poke fun at christians (easy targets)... they know nothing will happen to them... do this to the muslims and you'll have my respect...
Reply
Saturday 17 April
By Brian Fairbanks
Bolt, they aren't poking fun at Christians -- they are Christians. This was up in a church.
Sunday 18 April
By M.A. Korman
It is what it is!
Reply
Sunday 18 April
By Melanie
It looks like someone tried to paint abs and failed miserably. It's like that episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' when Marie makes an abstract sculpture that looks like a vagina, and then laments that it makes her a lesbian.
Reply
Monday 19 April
By Alam
First of all, shame on yourself to publish such a picture and making fun of Jesus. I am muslim and we love Jesus just because he is our prophet. He you sick peoples, so called Christians who call him Lord.. do like this and making fun of them... you people are totally maniacs... dont have respects you mothers and sisters ... and even dont have respect of your lord.... hell on you!
Reply
Tuesday 20 April
By glennc
wha???
Tuesday 20 April
By nev
Jesus didn't exist historically. And THAT is a dick. It's all Xtians have on their minds, it seems, from recent news.
Reply
Sunday 09 January
By Cthulhu
Josephus in his totally non-Christian writings (the History of the Jews) mentions, almost in passing, 'a man named Christos, who was loved by many and who was the Son of God. He performed miracles of healing and removal of demon-possession. He was crucified by Pontius Pilate, and rose on the third day after."
Don't try to tell anyone Jesus never existed - He did!
Friday 23 April
By Kathleen
That is the most disgusting image I have seen in a long time. How very disrespectful!
Reply
Saturday 24 April
By ElectroPig
Everyone knows that Jesus didn't have a dick at all..he was a hermaphrodite...
Reply
Sunday 09 January
By Cthulhu
Oh really? Jesus was 'true man as well as true God' Therefore he had a true man's body, right down to the last detail. Therefore he had a penis, testicles and all the accompanying equipment. So don't talk rot.
Thursday 20 May
By Friedland3
I agree with Melanie. I don't see it as a penis though it has a phallic shape. Reminds me of the joke where the psychiatrist asks the patient what he sees in the drawing of a rectangle. Patient says I see a sleeping bag and a couple are having sex in it. Doctor then draws a triangle and the patient says it's a tent and there are two couples having sex. Doctor then draws a large circle and the patient says it's a large arena with an orgy going on everywhere. The doctor concludes, I think sir, you have a preoccupation with sex. The patient quips back, but Doc, you drew the pictures!
Reply
Monday 24 January
By Cthulhu
F'gawdsake!!! Firstly the image of the so-called penis is too high on the body. Look at the layout of the body's image, and you'll see that if the body had a penis and testicles, they would be situated inside the loincloth. Secondly, the image of the penis is uncircumcised. Jesus was a dyed-in-the-wool Jew, and his circumcision is described in the Bible. Therefore it could not possibly be a proper penis. Thirdly the top of the image is close to the top of the rib cage, and no penis is that big, even when boasted about by the porno kings. I have seen many medieval paintings/drawings of this caliber, and when a man's trunk is displayed in such paintings, the 'six-pack' and just above the pubic area are quite pronounced, as in this painting. Honestly, if you think this is a penis, then you have got a pretty warped outlook on life! It is a male trunk, showing well-developed muscles, as Jesus would have had, since he was a carpenter in his earlier days, and a carpenter had to have very well developed muscles in order to perform his work. Honestly, one would think you were blind!!!
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