old people STDSIf Grandma and Grandpa ever lecture you on the importance of safe sex, you need to serve the lesson right back at them. In light of STD month, analysts and doctors are busy studying which groups of people have the highest incidence of unprotected sex. Guess which one is the most recklessly promiscuous? Yup, old people.

It turns out the elderly now have the highest proportion of STD-positive patients. These grayhairs still think it's the 1950s, when syphilis was the worst thing you could catch. Resident genius Ryan McKee breaks down the trend and explains why nursing homes are America's new bathhouses.