Fetch Club in Manhattan will be a doggy nightclubWe only wish this were either A) a joke, or B) the slutty sequel to "Hotel for Dogs," but sadly, it is neither. A nightclub for dogs is opening up in Manhattan, and we are absolutely serious.

The club, called the Fetch Club, will be opening next month in the Financial District and offering homemade meals, holistic mud spa thingimajiggers, and possibly even a disco dance club ... for dogs. Owners can drop off their pooches for $35 a day and rest assured that they're running around a gigantic indoor dog park instead of crapping all over their apartment and eating their furniture.

Maybe the economy really is recovering, not only because people are expected to pay for their pets to get a facial mud mask, but also because somebody actually managed to convince a loan officer that this is a good business idea. Take that, recession.