Manhattan cocktailTurns out, not all alkies are created equal. A British study identified nine different types of drinkers.

Whether you're one of those types or all nine, you're in luck: The Manhattan Cocktail Classic -- the five-day booze conference where every presentation is followed by a hangover -- kicks off on Friday with 70 different events ranging from the educational to occupational to "I'm just here for the open bar."

To help you navigate the expo, we're spotlighting nine events that cater to each breed of boozehound. Bottoms up!

De-Stress Drinkers: Death in the Afternoon
These drinkers use alcohol to chill out. And what's more calming than leaving the city behind and sipping on hand-crafted absinthe in a Brooklyn garden? It beats drinking alone in your basement studio with your Tranquil Moments Sound Machine on full blast. (May 16 at 4 p.m.; Huckleberry Bar)

Conformist Drinkers: Sustainable Spirits
All your hippie Brooklyn friends drone on about local food and sustainable living, so imagine how much more they'll like you after you attend a panel discussion on organic booze and "the cocktail as food justice." (May 18 at 6:15 p.m.; The Gallery at Astor Center)

Boredom Drinkers: From F-Stops to Flickr
If you drink primarily to relieve the monotony of your boring life, why not mix in a second hobby: taking pictures of the drinks. This workshop will guarantee that after a night at a bar, your vision is the only thing that ends up blurred. (May 16 at 1 p.m.; PDT)

Depressed Drinkers: Soul Shakedown
There is no such thing as depression when some of the city's top bartenders take over a tiki bar called "Painkiller." (May 17 at 5 p.m.; Painkiller)

Re-Bonding Drinkers: Cocktails for the Home Cocktail Party
If alcohol is your primary way of keeping in touch with people, why not learn how to mix it up at home? With help from famed Milk and Honey owner Sasha Petraske, you'll no longer need a bar to maintain friendships. Although you'll still need booze. (May 15 at 12:15 p.m.; The Study at Astor Center)

Community Drinkers: Bartenders, Bloggers and Brands
Learn how to better keep in touch with your besotted friends with a panel on how social media is affecting the modern bar scene. If you can't make it, the entire proceeding will most likely be blogged, Tweeted, Dugg and Foursquared. (May 18 at 12:15 p.m.; The Study at Astor Center)

Hedonistic Drinkers: Drink Punch and Be Merry
Organizers promise this historic look at the roots of modern drink-making will include "explorers, pirates and misbehaving lords." Just a normal Tuesday night for you, then. (May 15 at 11:30 a.m.; The Gallery at the Astor Center)

Macho Drinkers: Chasing the White Dog in Manhattan
This panel discussion of modern moonshine (macho) will include NASCAR legend Junior Johnson (machoer), whose racing success stemmed from the driving skills he learned outrunning lawmen on midnight moonshine runs (machoest). (May 16 at 6:15 p.m.; The Gallery at Astor Center)

Dependent Drinkers: Stories From the Behind the Bar Series
Booze holes around the city are putting on events where you can chat with staff as if they're best friends. Although in your case, they already may be. (Dates, times and locations vary)