Last year, New York City's 311 system received 16,191 calls
in response to the "If You See Something, Say Something" initiative. (Spotting Lady Gaga
in one of her endangered-species-inspired outfits did not count toward the total.)
One of those calls led to police clearing Times Square in the near-terrorist attack incident of last month, and the "bomb" reports haven't stopped since
Of course, the successful and ongoing marketing campaign, which has now spread to other cities and countries, is not without its detractors -- or its parodists.
Keep reading for our roundup of some of our favorite goofs on the famous yellow "IYSSSS" poster.
If You Skee Something, Say Something
, the world's first competitive skee-ball league, has a roster of teams that take skeeball puns to the next level. Among them, "If You Skee Something, Say Something," who emblazoned their team logo on their T-shirts. We're pretty sure their opponents were blinded by the hotness.
If You See Something ... Say Something About Money
We get it, the MTA takes big bonuses for themselves while jacking up subway fares to more than the cost of a slice of pizza
. The problem with this is that it sounds like you're advocating overthrow of the capitalist system, which sounds like treason, which sounds like ... a reason to call 311 on you.
If You See Someone Bending Over, Tell a Friend
"Hey. Hey, psst, creepy Predator guy. It's me, the alien from the 'Alien' movies
. I see something."
"That's nice ... it's hard enough to walk around New York City with a name like 'Predator.' The authorities strangely have a tough time believing my side of the story when I'm caught looking up a girl's skirt. Because I'm the f**king Predator
If You See Something, Keep Your Mouth Shut
Don't even get us started on congressional Democrats
, who have learned absolutely nothing from their many failures in the last 30 years. The majority of the country favors a public option
? Let's not fight for it, then. The Republicans are wrong about everything yet control the message on every issue? Better wait until the country notices before we hit them on it. See? Told you not to get us started.
If There's Something Weird, and It Don't Look Good
If there's something strange ... in the neighborhood
, who you gonna call? Uh ... 311? No?
If You Fear Something, You'll See Something
Honestly, we stopped reading about one-third of the way down this epic poster; can't we parodists (that means you, Asylum readers) come up with something more hilarious than this ... or even most of the re-dos above? If you have a good idea for a parody poster, please put it in the comments, thanks.