Back in the day, athletic New Yorkers joined summer sports leagues to stay in shape and enjoy the sun's rays. But these days there's a summer sport for every type. Whether you're a sun-scared drunk or a horny punk, we've compiled the five best summer leagues Gotham has to offer.

League for the Thirsty: Brewskee-Ball
Who wants to drink after the game when you can drink during (and after, for that matter)? Remember skeeball at your local Chuck E. Cheese? Now you can take what you learned from elementary school and apply it to your summer league ... while drunk. Brewskee-Ball likes their puns, so make sure your team name is creative (i.e., "If You Skee Something, Say Something"). The league meets at tavern and skeeball mecca Full Circle Bar in Williamsburg. Registration opens in early August.

League for the Players to Play: NYC Social Sports Club Kickball
Don't be intimidated by the chicks kicking balls. NYC Social Sports Club's co-ed kickball league has the goods when it comes to meeting New Yorkers of the opposite sex. Feel free to flirt during your downtime in the dugout or maybe you'd like to make your move at various post game shindigs. The "kickin'" after parties are crazy according to NYCSSC's marketing manager, Matt Archmbault. Registration opens in June.

League for the Closeted Sadomasochist: Downtown Dodgeball
Relive your junior high glory days on the dodgeball courts. (Weren't they just basketball courts?) Downtown Dodgeball enables you to take your workday aggression out on the proverbial fat kid, but since we're all fat kids now, everyone pretty much gets hit equally. It's more of a workout than you think, and in this politically correct world isn't it nice to be able to legally throw stuff at strangers? News for the summer league will be up soon so check the website.
League for the All-American New Yorker: Central Park Softball
You're a dude, in a park, keeping your eye on the big balls. No, you're not our creepy Uncle Jim, you're participating in a New York City summer institution: softball. Sign up to join the league and find out what summer in the Big Apple is all about. Softball in Central Park is a rite of passage in New York, like peeing in a public trash can. if you've never done it, you're not a real New Yorker. Various leagues start mid-June, registration is open now.

League for the Granola Enthusiast: Manhattan Ultimate Disc
Since it's hard to find a sick hacky sack league, you'll be stoked to hear about Manhattan Ultimate Disc, brah! Don't let the stoner vernacular fool you, Ultimate has had a long, strange trip going from that little game the campus hippies played on the quad to a serious sport with literally millions of followers. So whether you chill in your BIrkenstocks or Brooks Brothers boat shoes, you're welcome at MUD. Leagues starts June 12; registration is open now.