Finally, an "Ode to the Oosik": A witty parody (first devised by who knows) of the Robert Service poem "The Cremation of Sam McGee," this little ditty is a fitting conclusion to any survey of the fertile culture of popping oosiks ...
Strange things have been done in the midnight sun,
and the story books are full --
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
the magnificent walrus bull!
I know it's rude, quite common, and crude,
Perhaps it is grossly unkind,
But, first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
Is as ugly in front as behind ...
Look once again, take a second look then,
you'll see he's not ugly or vile --
There's a hint of a grin in that blubbery chin,
and the eyes have sly secret smile ...
How can this be, this clandestine glee,
that exudes from the walrus like music.
He knows - there inside, beneath blubber and hide,
lies a splendid contrivance ... the oosik!
"Oosik" you say, and quite well you may,
I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth,
"Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!
Now the size alone of this walrus bone,
would indeed arouse envious thinking.
It is also a fact, documented and backed,
there is never a softening or shrinking!
This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
the walrus is rightfully proud!
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,
pray, why is not man so endowed??
Added to this is a smile you might miss --
Though the bull is entitled to bow,
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile,
Is the satisfied walrus cow!