Are you one of those Twits who thinks all of New York City should endlessly refresh their Tweetdecks to catch your latest Tweet as it happens? Do you plan your life around securing mayoral positions on Foursquare? Then you're probably just full of yourself enough for the selfless civil servants in New York City government!

Allow us to explain. According to The Wall Street Journal, Mayor Bloomberg's office is seeking its first-ever chief digital officer, which is a glorified way of saying, "Person Who Gets Paid to Sit Around and Write Boring Tweets for About 800 Followers."

The job description ("to help develop forward-thinking policies on social media, digital communications, Web 2.0 initiatives and other tools to better serve the public") sounds a tad more professional, but not much more so. It sounds like you'll be sitting around Bloomie's office, updating his MySpace page ("Status: egg-sucking-face angry") or checking in on Foursquare every time Bloomberg visits his underground cat torture chamber.

Keep reading to see some sample Tweets you can steal from us, without credit.

1) "Golfing in Bermuda again -- what're you gonna do about it, vote me out of office? HAAHAHHAA!"

2) "Rudy just got here. When is that weasel going to run for President again & leave me alone? #baldy"

3) "Council Spkr Christine Quinn just left. Don't try to insinuate anything, jerks. I'm not into ladies."

4) "Charles Barron just took the council floor. Here we go: another speech about that 'Brooklyn' place he keeps making up."

5) "Girlfriend's thinking about running for State Senate. I said, 'Why run, honey? Let's just buy the Sen. We already own 1/2 of it.'"